Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear manager,

I am writing this letter to ask you about my individual devlopment in this company as I have completed my two years in this company as a retail associate.

I am currently working as a grocery associate in this store from 2 years and I have learned all the aspects of the department to increase the sells keeping customers happy. As a associate I learned to verify the numbers of products, checking replanishments. claimimg the products and may more.

If I am getting chance to move to other department I want to learn different duties requirements for that perticular area. so this can help me to devlop my career in higher position.

When i came to this company it helped me a lot to learn organizing skill, management skill and leadership skill as well. So if I am getting career devlopment plan it can help me to grow and I can help company to grow in the market.

I hope you consider my request. Thank you.

Your Sincerly,

Kajal Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points in the prompt: describing your current learning, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, when explaining how the company would benefit, you mention learning new duties, but you do not explicitly state how your existing skills or fresh perspective would add value to a new department. To improve, try to provide more specific examples of how your current experience as a retail associate could be transferred to a different role, making your argument more persuasive and fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For instance, you frequently start sentences with 'I' or 'So', which limits the flow of your writing. While the paragraphing is present, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition to this' would help to connect your ideas more effectively and improve the overall progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are several spelling errors, such as 'devlopment', 'sells' (instead of 'sales'), 'replanishments', 'claimimg', and 'perticular'. Additionally, some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'verify the numbers of products'. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common professional terms and try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations related to career development and business operations to demonstrate a more flexible range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For example, 'I am currently working... from 2 years' should be 'for 2 years', and 'If I am getting chance' should be 'If I am given the chance'. There are also issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will significantly enhance the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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