Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to request you to move me to a new section in the same company. Since last two years I have been working in the food section. However, I want to switch my department to the sales section. There are many things that I learnt from my current department for instance, organising the products with using a professional method and how to coordinate with the team members that results in a good team work.

However, I want to move to the sales section because in past two years I have been working on my communication skills and how to sell products in a professional way that is going to help the company to maximise the sales. As a result, it helps the organisation to generate more profit. Furthermore, I want continue to work in the same organisation because I really like the environment at this place and it is close to my house that just takes me 20 minutes walk. Moreover, there is no discrimination among any race, gender, ethnics.

I hope I will be moved to a new section in the same company.

I will be thankful to you for your support.

Yours faithfully,

Harpinder Singh.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: detailing your current learning, explaining the benefits of your move to the company, and stating your reasons for staying. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat basic. For instance, while you mention that your communication skills will help the company, you could have provided a more specific example of how these skills would be applied in the sales department to achieve better results. Expanding on these points with more detail would elevate the response to a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical progression, moving from your current situation to your future goals and reasons for staying. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'As a result' to link your ideas. However, the paragraphing is a bit disjointed; the letter would benefit from a clearer structure, perhaps separating the introduction, the body paragraphs covering the requirements, and the conclusion. Some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall readability of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'coordinate', 'maximise', and 'organisation'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'organising the products with using a professional method' is awkward; a more natural phrasing would be 'using professional methods to organize products'. Additionally, 'no discrimination among any race, gender, ethnics' is grammatically incorrect; 'ethnicities' should be used instead of 'ethnics'. Expanding your range to include more precise professional terminology would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors. For instance, 'Since last two years' should be 'For the last two years'. The phrase 'that just takes me 20 minutes walk' is also grammatically weak; it would be better as 'which is only a 20-minute walk away'. There are also minor punctuation and article usage errors throughout. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more error-free sentences and greater control over complex grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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