Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Tony,

I am excited to share that today I completed two years of working in this hospital. In these two years I get so many opportunities and learn skills like critical thinking, urgency in care, team work and so on working in the emergency department.

However, I was thinking that if it's possible can you transfer me to other areas of our hospital such as the Oncology department. In addition, it would be beneficial for our hospital and me both, as its new department we just started so it needs an experienced person, and I fit in that criteria, because I worked in this area in my last work place and I have a good knowledge.

I want to uplift my career, and I recieved bunch of offer from other hospital, but I do not want to leave this hospital. Because I feel so comfortable working with you.

Looking forward for your response,

Thank you for your consideration.

Best regards,

Meghavi

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter covers all three bullet points: skills learned, benefits to the company, and reasons for staying. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move to the Oncology department is a bit vague, relying on the claim that you are 'experienced' without detailing specific transferable skills. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though it occasionally lapses into a slightly informal style (e.g., 'bunch of offer'). To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is expanded with more specific professional detail.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific requirement of the prompt. There is a basic progression of ideas from your past experience to your future goals. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. Phrases like 'In addition' and 'However' are used correctly, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, though the transition between the second and third paragraphs feels slightly abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall cohesion of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. You use some relevant professional terms like 'critical thinking' and 'emergency department', but there are instances of imprecise or informal word choices, such as 'bunch of offer' (should be 'several offers') and 'fit in that criteria' (should be 'meet those criteria'). Spelling is generally accurate, but the range of vocabulary is somewhat restricted. To improve, try to incorporate more precise professional collocations and avoid colloquial expressions in a formal business context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist. For example, 'In these two years I get so many opportunities' should be 'I have had many opportunities', and 'as its new department' should be 'as it is a new department'. Additionally, there are minor punctuation issues, such as missing commas after introductory phrases. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of verb tenses and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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