Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Hardik,

I am Awalnoor Sethi, working as team leader in the logistic department from the past two years. I am writing this letter to request you to transfer me to the production department as the production head.

Through my experience in logistics, I am aware about the losses company is suffering through either slower production levels or excessive produce. I believe a good co-ordination is required between both the sectors of company. Therefore, I think I could be a best bet based upon my learning and experiences. This will be a boost to my career as well as no promotional opportunities are visible in my current department.

I promise to work for Smart Foods Inc. with full dedication and devotion as it was my first job. Moreover, the skills and the trust I achieved here made me a permanent employee and I wish to continue my services.

Therefore, I would be thankful to you and be waiting for your decision.

Yours Faithfully

Awalnoor Sethi

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mentioned your learning in the logistics department, explained the benefits of your transfer to production, and expressed your loyalty to the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is a bit vague, focusing on 'losses' without specific examples of how your skills would resolve them. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully extended with concrete details. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, though the request to be the 'production head' is quite ambitious for a lateral move.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Therefore', and 'Through my experience' to link your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes a bit mechanical. The paragraphing is sufficient, but the transition between your current role and your future aspirations could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, though some sentences feel slightly disconnected. To improve, try to vary your cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus that leads naturally into the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'dedication', 'devotion', and 'co-ordination'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'excessive produce' is not the standard term for excess inventory or stock, and 'best bet' is too informal for a professional letter to a manager. Additionally, 'no promotional opportunities are visible' is slightly awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on using more precise business terminology and ensure that your word choices are appropriate for a formal context rather than conversational English.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors. For instance, 'working as team leader in the logistic department from the past two years' should be 'as a team leader in the logistics department for the past two years'. There are also minor errors with articles ('the production department') and prepositions. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to enhance the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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