Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Irfan,

I hope you are doing well. I'm writing this letter to thank you for giving me a chance to work in the Grandview Highway Walmart, one of the largest stores in Canada. I appreciate you by hiring me in one of the busiest and in also the most engaging department which is the Online Department. Over here, I have learned countless of things for a lifetime. Especially from you, I have learned time management and commitment which are the most crucial things required to run a business.

As you know, I'm a Pharmacist and its has been a while since I wanted to go back to my original field job. I feel like moving to Pharmacy Department would be beneficial for my career development. It will not be advantageous just for me but also for the company as well since the organization does not need to hire anyone from outside. Not only this, also I know what loyalty means and I do want to leave this specific establishment.

So if you could put in a good word for me, I would be highly obliged.

Thanking you

Best Regards,

SmrutI Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated what you learned in your current role, explained the benefits of your transfer to the company, and expressed your desire to remain with the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To reach a higher band, ensure your ideas are slightly more developed; for example, when mentioning the benefits to the company, you could specify how your pharmacy background would specifically improve the department's efficiency or customer service, rather than just stating it saves recruitment costs. Overall, the response is relevant and fulfills the task requirements effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical progression, moving from an introduction and appreciation to the request and justification. Paragraphing is used to separate the different points, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is occasionally mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition 'Not only this, also I know...'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow. The referencing is generally clear, and the letter maintains a consistent focus throughout, which keeps the communication effective and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'advantageous', and 'establishment'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'I appreciate you by hiring me' (should be 'I appreciate you hiring me') and 'countless of things' (should be 'countless things'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise control over idiomatic expressions. To improve, focus on using more natural collocations and ensuring that your word choices align with standard professional English conventions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'its has been a while' (should be 'it has been'), 'I do want to leave' (which contradicts your intended meaning of wanting to stay), and 'I appreciate you by hiring me'. These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. To achieve a higher score, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of auxiliary verbs. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will also help demonstrate better control over your grammatical range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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