Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to bring to your attention that I believe this is the right time to shift to another role as it is essential for my career progress. I would like move to a higher position in the vulnerability management team.

At present, I am working as an information security specialist where I learned about the several on-premises and the cloud applications. Additionally, this role helped me to perform various risk assessments such as, TARA, CGA on the AI applications and platforms. More importantly, I learned how to work under extreme pressure situations when escalating a high priority incident to the stakeholders.

Since I am an existing employee the transition would be very smooth and efficient especially cuts a significant amount of hiring process. Moreover, I do have the prior experience in vulnerability management which would help the organization to deliver the priorities as scheduled because I could pick up the work as quickly as possible after the knowledge transfer session.

Finally, I would like to continue my journey with the company because of its work-life balance culture where each and every employee has a voice to raise and question. Company also provides several career progression opportunities -such as training sessions and virtual events like Tech-con.

I would appreciate your prompt attention to this matter, and I look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

Raj Kumar Pratap

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.0

You have successfully addressed all three bullet points in the prompt. You clearly outlined your current learning experiences, such as risk assessments and incident management. You provided a logical argument for how the company would benefit from your transfer, specifically mentioning the efficiency of the hiring process and your existing knowledge. Finally, you explained your commitment to the company by highlighting the positive work culture. The tone is professional and appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. The ideas are well-developed and the purpose of the letter is clear from the beginning, meeting all the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.0

The letter is well-organized with a clear structure. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the prompt, which aids readability. You use cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Finally' to link your ideas effectively. The progression of information is logical, moving from your current role to the benefits of your transfer and concluding with your reasons for staying. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. The flow is smooth, and the relationship between sentences is clear throughout the text, demonstrating good control over organizational features.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary relevant to the professional context, such as 'vulnerability management', 'risk assessments', 'stakeholders', and 'career progression'. There is an attempt to use more sophisticated phrasing, though some collocations could be more natural. For instance, 'cuts a significant amount of hiring process' is slightly awkward; 'reduces the time and cost of the recruitment process' would be more precise. Overall, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly and professionally, and you avoid repetitive language, showing a good level of flexibility in your word choice.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. There are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'I do have the prior experience' (the 'do' is unnecessary for emphasis here) and 'cuts a significant amount' (which lacks a subject or proper phrasing). However, these errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. Your use of punctuation is generally accurate, and the sentence variety helps maintain the reader's interest. Most of your sentences are error-free, and you demonstrate a solid command of English grammar suitable for a formal business correspondence.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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