Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr Smith,

I am writing to bring your attention to the matter of changing my job position in your company. As you know that I am currently working with HR (Human Resources) department of the company. However, I have recently completed my degree in finance. Therefore, I would like to work with finance department of the company from now on.

Furthermore, I have been working in your company for the last 2 years and you are quite aware of my capabilities. Additionally I have never given you any chance to pick my mistakes. But now, As I have completed my degree in finance management, I am eager to gain experience in the relevant field. Also, this is really important for my professional development.

Please let me know when you are free to talk about it. So that we can discuss it in more detail. I would be really grateful to you for this favour.

Yours sincerely,

James Bond

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development is somewhat thin. While you mention your current role and your desire to move to finance, you do not explicitly state what you have learned in your current role, which is a key requirement. Furthermore, the suggestion regarding how the company would benefit from your move is underdeveloped; you simply state you are eager to gain experience. To achieve a higher band, you should provide specific examples of skills gained in HR and explain how your new finance qualification would add value to the finance department, such as improving reporting or efficiency.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear opening and closing. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'Additionally,' though these are sometimes used in a slightly mechanical way. The paragraphing is acceptable, but the transition between your current role and your future goals could be smoother. The flow of ideas is generally easy to follow, but the connection between your past performance and your future potential could be better integrated to create a more cohesive argument for your transfer.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and sophistication. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'working with' and 'gain experience.' There are some minor issues with collocation, such as 'never given you any chance to pick my mistakes,' which sounds unnatural. To improve, try to use more professional, business-appropriate collocations. The range is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it does not demonstrate the flexibility or precision required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are several grammatical errors. For example, 'As you know that I am currently working with HR' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'As you know, I am currently working in the HR department.' There are also issues with article usage ('the finance department') and punctuation, such as starting a sentence with 'But now, As...' which is incorrect. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to limit your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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