Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Akshit,

I want to discuss my career prospects with you in this letter. I feel it is time for me to move to a different team that will help me grow further in this organization. I have learnt a lot in this team and now I believe, it is just monotonous stuff that I do every day.

I got to explore the legacy back-office system in-depth and developed the new onereview system as well. I know the ins and outs of the legacy and the new system. Every new ticket we get now is for the maintenance of what we have developed so far.

I have a lot of experience in the fintech domain and I have worked with the payments platform for majority of my career. I think, I would be a great fit for the money movement team. They are looking for a tech lead and I have the sufficient experience to apply for that role.

I don't want to leave this organisation as I love the culture, the things I get to learn and the people I get to work with.

I hope you would understand my vision and support me for the same.

Kind regards,

Mohit

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt effectively. You clearly state what you have learned (legacy systems and the new onereview system), explain the benefit to the company (your fintech expertise and suitability for the tech lead role), and express your commitment to the organization. The tone is professional and appropriate for a formal request to a manager. To reach a higher band, ensure that the transition between your current role and the desired role is more explicitly linked to the company's strategic goals rather than just your personal career growth, which would further strengthen the persuasive nature of the letter.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which aids readability. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited; the transitions between sentences are occasionally abrupt. For example, the jump from describing your current tasks to your fintech experience could be smoothed with better linking phrases. While the paragraphing is appropriate, increasing the variety of cohesive devices (such as 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in light of this') would improve the flow and help achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary related to the workplace and technical systems, such as 'career prospects', 'fintech domain', and 'maintenance'. The language is generally natural and precise. There are a few instances where word choice could be more sophisticated; for example, describing your work as 'monotonous stuff' is slightly informal for a letter to a manager. Using more professional terminology would enhance the overall tone. Overall, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly and effectively throughout the letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The letter shows a good command of grammatical structures. You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, such as 'I have a lot of experience in the fintech domain and I have worked with the payments platform for majority of my career.' While there are minor punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma in 'I believe, it is just...', these do not impede communication. The sentence structures are generally accurate, and the control over verb tenses is consistent. To improve, focus on refining punctuation and ensuring complex sentences are constructed with greater precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.