Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Madam,

I hope you are doing well and that this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter to request a transfer to another department.

As you know, I have been working here for the past two years and wish to continue my job in the same organization. However, I would like to move to a higher department.

I have learned many skills while working with this company and its colleagues. For instance, time management, teamwork, linguistic skills, and organizational skills, that are most crucial for a white-collar job. I have been working as a receptionist for the last few years; now I wish to become a conveyancer. This post will help me a lot to make my future bright. Moreover, I promise that our firm will also benefit by promoting me to a higher level. I have recently completed my Business Management degree, which is greatly beneficial for our association's growth.

Furthermore, I do not want to leave the company, as it has helped me a lot in enhancing my skills. Also, I enjoyed working here a lot and developed a precious relationship with my colleagues. Therefore, I would prefer to continue working rather than looking for another job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, suggest how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explain your desire to remain with the firm. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention that the company would benefit from your promotion, you could have provided more specific details on how your new Business Management degree would be applied to the conveyancing role to make the argument more persuasive. Overall, the task is fulfilled, but the depth of explanation could be improved to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the prompt. You use some cohesive devices such as 'For instance,' 'Moreover,' and 'Furthermore' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition from discussing your current skills to your desire to become a conveyancer is a bit abrupt. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure is easy to follow, which is sufficient for a clear, coherent response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'organizational skills,' 'conveyancer,' and 'enhancing.' There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'higher department' (which is slightly unnatural; 'different department' or 'new role' would be better) and 'precious relationship' (where 'valuable' or 'professional' would be more appropriate in a business context). While you successfully convey your meaning, the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. You rely on fairly standard phrases, but the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your message clearly without any confusion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most of your sentences are clear and grammatically sound. There are a few minor errors, such as 'wish to continue my job' (should be 'continue in my role') and 'that are most crucial' (which is a fragment when used as you have). Punctuation is generally accurate, and your control of verb tenses is consistent. While you do not use a wide variety of complex grammatical structures, the ones you do use are generally accurate and do not impede communication. The writing is easy to read and follows standard English conventions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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