Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Gill,

I hope you are doing really well! I am writing this letter to request you to change my current department which is accounting to immigration in our company.

I am working in this company from last 4 years as a Bookkeeper. I learned many new things during this period such as making paystubs, calculating companies GST'S ,and tax related many new terms.

However, recently I have learned new rules about immigration field as well as when our companies older employee, who was on vacation for 2 months , and I handled his work efficiently, so it helped me to excel my skills in this field. I did ample of research on the IRCC rules and regulations. Therefore, It might help in companies growth and success.

I would like you to move me in the department, so that I can make you proud of me. Although, our firm offers many employee perks and benefits so due to this, I do not want to quit this job so that's why i want to only change the department.

I expect positive response from you. Thank you.

Yours Sincerely,

Preet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your experience as a bookkeeper, explain the benefits of your transfer to the immigration department, and express your commitment to the company. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention researching IRCC rules, you could have provided more specific examples of how this knowledge would directly benefit the company's operations. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though some phrasing is slightly informal, such as 'make you proud of me'. Overall, the task is fulfilled, but the depth of explanation could be improved to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your request. You use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'Therefore', and 'Although' to connect ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, such as the comma placement in '...vacation for 2 months , and I handled...'. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is clear, but the final paragraph feels a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'accounting', 'bookkeeper', and 'regulations'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'calculating companies GST'S' (should be 'calculating the company's GST') and 'excel my skills' (should be 'enhance' or 'develop'). The phrase 'ample of research' is also non-standard; 'a significant amount of research' would be more natural. While your meaning is always clear, the vocabulary lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include 'I am working in this company from last 4 years' (should be 'I have been working... for the last 4 years') and 'I would like you to move me in the department' (should be 'to the department'). Additionally, there are issues with capitalization and spacing, such as 'i want to' and 'It might help in companies growth'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.