Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to express my deepest interest in trasfer to the different department of the organization as it is significantly essential for not only my career advancement but also the company as a whole.

I have been working as a food service supervisor from last 2 years. I acquired the profound knowledge and understanding with some relevant skills by working in this position which eventually are beneficial for my considerable growth. I would really appreciate it if you could approve my proposal. By transferring me into the management team will bring various opportunities and excellent resources which are required to expand the business effectively. I am extremely unwilling to leave the company since it is doing exceptionally good in terms of fulfilling my financial and personal responsibilities.

It would be great if you look into this matter and respond to my request at your earliest convenience.

Yours faithfully,

Manpreet kour

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter covers all three bullet points required by the prompt: it mentions learning experiences in the current role, suggests benefits for the company, and explains the desire to stay. However, the development of these points is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from a transfer is vague, mentioning 'excellent resources' without specifying what these are or how they relate to the new department. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete examples of your skills and how they specifically apply to the new role, rather than using general business terminology.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a formal closing. The use of paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical. Phrases like 'not only... but also' and 'by transferring me' are used, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. Some transitions feel slightly forced, and the connection between the current role and the future potential could be better linked to improve the overall progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using formal expressions such as 'career advancement' and 'earliest convenience'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'trasfer to the different department' contains a spelling error and an awkward article usage. 'Profound knowledge' is slightly unnatural in this context, and 'doing exceptionally good' should be 'doing exceptionally well'. While the meaning is clear, the vocabulary lacks the precision and natural collocation expected at higher band levels.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The letter uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'from last 2 years' (should be 'for the last two years') and 'By transferring me into the management team will bring' (which is a grammatically incorrect construction). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to indicate a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and preposition usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.