Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
- say what you have learned in your present job
- suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
- explain why you do not wish to leave the company
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ....................................,
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Dear to whomsoever it may concern very Good morning...I am working with you since two years and I am glad to work with this company. I learned a lot of things along with my professional work which gives meaning to my life and improve my skill set and now I am looking forward to step ahead in my career to develop more and to serve more with my abilities that I have been learning. I feel familiar and comfortable while working in this company and I love how the company have managed it's authenticity along with the professionalism. I love to work here very much . And the way the company encourage it's employees because Encouragement through the position upgradation is very much appreciated and gives better results ,there I am looking forward for the department I would like to work with . I would love to present and help with the growth of the company . I feel honoured to share my views with you , I appreciate your support and I am very thankful to you.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development is quite superficial. While you mention learning 'a lot of things', you do not specify what these skills are. Similarly, you suggest the company would benefit from your move, but you fail to explain how your specific skills would add value to a new department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, but the lack of specific detail makes the request less persuasive. To improve, ensure you provide concrete examples of your achievements and clearly articulate the 'why' behind your request for a transfer to help the manager understand the business case for your move.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The letter lacks clear paragraphing, which is essential for a formal request. It is written as a single block of text, making it difficult to follow the logical progression of ideas. While you use some basic cohesive devices like 'and' and 'because', the flow is often repetitive and mechanical. To reach a higher band, you should structure your letter into distinct paragraphs: one for the introduction and current role, one for the benefits of the move, and one for your commitment to the company. Using a wider variety of linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition' would also improve the overall flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'I love to work here' and 'I learned a lot of things' are quite informal and lack the precision expected in a professional context. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'managed it's authenticity' and 'position upgradation', which is not standard English. To improve, focus on using more professional terminology related to career development and workplace contributions. Expanding your range of adjectives and verbs will help you express your ideas with greater clarity and sophistication, moving away from basic, conversational language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly regarding punctuation and sentence structure. For example, 'I am working with you since two years' should be 'I have been working with you for two years'. You also have issues with apostrophes, such as 'it's' (it is) used instead of the possessive 'its'. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, which affects readability. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic tenses and possessives prevents a higher score. Focus on mastering present perfect continuous tenses and proofreading for basic punctuation errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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