Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear....................,

I am writing this letter to inform you about the career choice in the company, that i had made recently.

I joined the Walmart two years ago in consumables team as a lead manager. I am satisfy with the job position and all the work responsibilities.

But I want to move to the omni department as it is related to my degree major supply chain. I was always keen to learn more about the supply chain market. Futhermore, after gaining the experience I can look forward to see more career opportunities in this field. And I am not willing to leave the company as I am inspired by the co-operation between all the colleagues and I also learned a lot from my job personally and professionally as well.

Therefore, I would like to kindly request you to change my department.

It would be really appreciated.

Looking forward to hear from you.

Yours Faithfully,

Mehak

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits of moving to the omni department, and express your desire to remain with the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention your degree in supply chain, you could have elaborated more on how your specific skills would add value to the new department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal business letter, though it could be slightly more professional in its structure and phrasing to better persuade your manager.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical progression, moving from your current situation to your request and your reasons for staying. However, the paragraphing is inconsistent and lacks clear structure. The text is presented as a series of short, somewhat disjointed sentences. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'Therefore', the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly, rather than relying on simple sentence-to-sentence transitions.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. You use some basic phrasing such as 'I am satisfy with' (which contains a grammatical error) and 'I learned a lot'. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more sophisticated collocations and professional terminology related to career development. For example, instead of saying 'I want to move', you could use 'I am seeking a transfer'. You also have some minor errors in word choice, such as 'consumables team' which could be more clearly defined.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have several grammatical errors, such as 'i had made' (incorrect tense), 'I am satisfy' (should be 'satisfied'), and 'Looking forward to hear' (should be 'hearing'). Additionally, there are issues with punctuation and capitalization, such as the lowercase 'i'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms after prepositions, and consistent capitalization.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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