Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing this letter to discuss if I could be moved to a different department. Since I have been working in the sales department from last two years, I have developed several skills and now, it is important to take additional responsibilities for my career progression. Moreover, I have acquired the fundamental knowledge regarding financial records and data handling.

As the skills learnt as a sales associate are easily transferrable to a different job position in the finance department, I am confident that I can demonstrate exceptional performance under the right guidance. If I could be promoted to a junior financial advisor, I can contribute significantly to the department's success as I have been working closely with finance team from last 6 months. Rather than training an external hire, company would benefit from filling the vacany through internal hiring.

Being a loyal employee of the organisation, I do not want to leave the company because I have learnt a lot while working here. Therefore, I want to be the part of this firm's growth while progessing in my career.

Looking forward to a favourable response from you.

Yours faithfully,

Jashanpreet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your current experience, explain the benefits of your transfer to the finance department, and express your commitment to the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To reach a higher band, you could further develop the 'benefits' section by explicitly linking your current sales skills (e.g., client negotiation or communication) to the specific needs of a financial advisor role, rather than just stating they are transferable. Overall, the response is well-focused and fulfills the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a formal closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which aids readability. You use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'Therefore,' and 'Rather than' to connect ideas effectively. The progression of information is smooth and easy to follow. To improve, ensure that the transition between your current role and the proposed role is even more seamless. The paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter, and the overall structure is coherent throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for a professional context, such as 'career progression,' 'fundamental knowledge,' 'exceptional performance,' and 'internal hiring.' The word choices are generally accurate and convey your meaning clearly. There are no significant spelling errors. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations or idiomatic professional expressions. For example, instead of 'learnt a lot,' you could use 'gained invaluable experience.' The current vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your intentions clearly and professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation is good. There are a few minor slips, such as 'from last two years' (should be 'for the last two years') and 'the company would benefit' (missing the article 'the' before 'company'). Additionally, 'be the part of' should be 'be a part of.' Despite these minor inaccuracies, your grammar does not impede communication. The variety of structures used is adequate for the task, and the overall control is strong.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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