Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear sir/ madam,

I am writing this letter about a job at ABC Company near Mall Road in a junior position in finance since 2024.

I have learned many things at this company. Firstly, I learned how to work in faced pace environment because it is very important in multinational company.After working many year boss suggest me to move in another dipartment, which is HR Department. furthermore, I also learn how to teamwork work. when company not only run by one person it all about teamworks.

I do not want to leave this company for some reasons. first of all, this company is near by house, so it is easy for me to travel, another reason is that company paid for forien tour like accomodations, recreational activities and other expensis.

i would like to continue this company for my rest of the life. would give some suggestion about my dicision.

I Would look forward to your reply.

Thank you

Dhruva Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mention your learning experiences, suggest benefits for the company regarding your transfer, and explain your desire to remain with the firm. However, the development of these ideas is quite limited. For example, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move to the HR department is vague and lacks specific professional justification. To improve, you should provide more concrete examples of how your skills would add value to the new department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, although the structure is somewhat simplistic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'furthermore', and 'first of all'. However, the flow between sentences is often mechanical, and some transitions feel forced or unnatural. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between your current role and the suggestion to move departments is abrupt. Improving the use of linking phrases and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but it is quite limited and repetitive. There are several noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'faced pace' (fast-paced), 'dipartment' (department), 'forien' (foreign), and 'expensis' (expenses). These errors occasionally distract the reader. You rely on very simple language and struggle to use more precise or professional terminology suitable for a business context. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning correct collocations and expanding your range of business-related vocabulary to express your ideas with more precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The letter contains a mix of simple sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('I learned' vs 'I have learned'), missing articles, and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'company paid for forien tour'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and sentence boundaries. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the text from achieving a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent use of articles.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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