Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I would like to request you that i eagerly wants to change my current work position in same company.

I Mahek Patel , work as an assistant physiotherapist in your clinic. I learnt so many different skills and confident in communication. I gained that level in which i can explain the condition and the modalities used are beneficial in which way. I have been worked here since i completed my bachlors and not only my first job but also my first ever earning source. i assure you that i definitely do my best and manage all the counselling related work on the days when you are not available at the branch.

I want to archieve that position but not anywhere i want to gain it at this place on which i nurture myself as a physiotherapist.

I hope you understand my view for further success in upcoming future.

Yours sincerely,

Mahek Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development of ideas is limited. While you mention what you have learned, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is vague; you focus more on your own desire to 'achieve a position' rather than the value you would bring to a new department. The tone is somewhat informal and lacks the professional polish required for a formal request to a manager. To improve, ensure you clearly articulate the specific skills you could transfer to a new role and how that would add value to the company's operations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into short paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is very limited, making the flow feel somewhat disjointed. For example, the transition between your current skills and your desire to move is abrupt. You rely on simple sentence structures rather than linking words or phrases to connect your ideas logically. To reach a higher band, try using a wider range of linking words such as 'furthermore,' 'consequently,' or 'in addition to this' to create a smoother progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. You use basic terms like 'work position' and 'different department' repeatedly. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'archieve' (spelling error) and 'first ever earning source,' which sounds unnatural. To improve, focus on using more professional collocations related to career development and workplace terminology. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you express your professional goals more effectively and demonstrate a better command of English.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the letter that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'i eagerly wants' (subject-verb agreement), 'I have been worked' (incorrect tense), and 'in which i can explain' (awkward phrasing). You rely heavily on simple sentences, and your attempts at more complex structures often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and verb tenses. Proofreading for common slips, such as the capitalization of 'I' and spelling errors, will also significantly improve the accuracy and professional appearance of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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