Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

Hope you are doing well. I am writing to tell you about my satisfaction with our company, and I want to talk about working in another department.

Since 13 January 2025, I have been working at your company as a junior employee in the production department. I have learnt a lot of skills during that time, such as teamwork, collaboration, patience, and how to handle serious issues calmly.

At present time, I can work in the human resources department. I recently completed my Master of Management. I have learnt about data analysis, management, and especially human resources. That is why I am confidently writing you a letter about changing my department.

Furthermore, it is not only beneficial for my career opportunities but also give adavantages of our business. As you know my qualifications and abilities, the company could achieve more success in the future by using my skills.

In the end, I want to mention that I do not like to leave the company because it is my first job after my schooling, along with the first step of starting my career.

I look forward to your response about it.

Yours faithfully,

Aman

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points in the prompt. You clearly stated what you learned in your current role, suggested how the company would benefit from your move, and explained your desire to stay. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention your Master of Management, you could have provided more specific examples of how your data analysis skills would directly solve problems in the HR department. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are fully extended with concrete details rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter follows a logical progression, with each paragraph focusing on a specific requirement of the task. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore' and 'In the end' to link your ideas. However, the transitions between sentences can feel a bit mechanical at times. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is more explicit. Overall, the message is easy to follow, and the structure is clear.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, using terms like 'collaboration', 'qualifications', and 'career development'. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'give adavantages of our business' (should be 'provide advantages to our business') and 'do not like to leave' (which sounds slightly informal; 'have no intention of leaving' would be better). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, you should aim to incorporate more precise collocations and less common lexical items to demonstrate a higher level of control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'At present time' (should be 'At the present time') and 'give adavantages' (subject-verb agreement error). Additionally, 'I am confidently writing you a letter' is slightly awkward; 'I am writing to formally request' would be more professional. Despite these errors, your meaning is always clear, and the mistakes do not impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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