Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to inform you that I am employee of your company in finance department from two years and I learn lot of experience about finance which I had not know when I started my job. Although, I am glad to do my job in these days but I have interest in accountant field. Therefore, I want to move in accountant department of your company.

When I will start in account department the company would gain numerous benefits because I know that shortage of the employees in this department, company faces lot of problems and gain loss sometime. So, when I involve in this department and also share my knowledge, company would definitly gain profits because now i have experience in finance and account.

I do not want to leave your company because of friendly environment and i feel comfortable to do work in your company. Apart from this, your company is not far away from my home so I can easily go to company without any wastage of time.

I hope you will move to me in another department.

Yours Faithfully,

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provide reasons for wanting to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat basic. For example, the explanation regarding the 'shortage of employees' and 'gain loss' is a bit repetitive and lacks professional nuance. To reach a higher band, ensure your arguments are more sophisticated and clearly linked to professional growth rather than just general statements. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, though it could be slightly more polished.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Although,' 'Therefore,' and 'Apart from this' to connect your ideas. However, the flow is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between sentences can feel a bit abrupt. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'I hope you will move to me in another department,' which is grammatically awkward and affects the clarity of your request. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your message, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'gain loss' and 'do work' are not natural collocations in a professional context. You rely on simple vocabulary, and there are some errors in word choice, such as 'accountant field' instead of 'accounting department.' To improve, try to incorporate more precise business-related terminology and avoid repeating the same words in close proximity. The spelling is generally accurate, but the lack of sophisticated vocabulary prevents a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently omit articles (e.g., 'in finance department') and struggle with verb tenses and prepositions (e.g., 'I learn lot of experience' instead of 'I have gained a lot of experience'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and word order, such as 'I am employee' and 'I hope you will move to me.' While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader and indicate a need for more careful proofreading of basic grammatical rules.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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