Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Ms. Corpuz,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to discuss the progression of employment position within the firm.

First, I would like to express my gratitude for providing me the opportunity to efficiently utilize my educational qualifications , , and further improving my professional skills. As a Marketing Officer, I am fortunate to gain substantial experience that has greatly contributed to my networking skills. For instance, my current position enables me to connect with various professionals in the field of business and also technology, assisting me to thrive in this modern era of corporate world where possessing technological skills are essential to be successful in any industry.

Furthermore, I strongly believe that with the education that I posted together with the transferability skills that I acquired while I was still a Marketing Officer can make a significant difference to the department where I am intend to move, which is the Sustainability Department. The organization unit is in charge of developing strategies concerning not only the profitability of the company but also its ability to contribute to the society and environment. All the learnings that I learned when I attended a seminar-workshop can be applied within my possible new role in the Sustainability Department. For example, the lecturer taught the participants how to use Artificial Intelligence to forecast environmental impact of the organization, and from that decision makers can formulate strategies that can mitigate the organization's environmental footprint.

I have been working in the company for almost five years. It has become the foundation of my career. Moreover, it has definitely helped me to improve my career. I believe that I can pay it forward by staying in the company for years to come.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Kind regards,

Elisa

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly articulate the skills gained as a Marketing Officer, such as networking and technological proficiency. You also provide a logical justification for moving to the Sustainability Department, linking your existing skills to the company's strategic goals. The explanation for wanting to stay within the company is also well-integrated. The tone is professional and appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that all ideas are fully developed without minor inconsistencies, such as the discrepancy between the prompt's 'two years' and your mention of 'five years' in the text.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate distinct ideas. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'For instance', and 'Moreover' to link your thoughts. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother in the second paragraph. The progression of ideas is generally clear, and the letter maintains a consistent focus throughout, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument for the internal transfer.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message with precision. Phrases like 'efficiently utilize', 'substantial experience', and 'mitigate the environmental footprint' show a good command of professional language. There are some minor awkward phrasings, such as 'progression of employment position' and 'transferability skills' (which should be 'transferable skills'). While these errors do not impede communication, they slightly limit the sophistication of your lexical range. Expanding your use of collocations and ensuring word forms are accurate will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. There are several error-free sentences, and your control of grammar is generally good. However, there are occasional slips, such as 'where possessing technological skills are essential' (should be 'is essential') and 'department where I am intend to move' (should be 'intend to move' or 'am intending to move'). These errors are infrequent and do not cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that verb tenses remain consistent throughout your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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