Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr Patel

I am writing to express my interest to moving from production department to front office work in our food beverage company. Since past two-year i m working with production department i gained so much valuable skills like team management, time management, communication, problem solving, also learn how to achieve target in production in particular timeline. As i had recently completed my tax exam as parttime at university torrento .i learn how to file tax, Excell sheet, power point presentation, project development so on which will be beneficial to my career as well to our company. By transferring in front desk team i can build up good relationship with our customer which will be give fruitful result to our company.

In addition to that i am not leaving company i truly apricate our company's core value and opportunity which given to me during my hard time i am enjoying working here as well as our team member are so helpful they are ready to help each other in difficult situation.in current scenario i think such team is hard to find in anywhere else company so i will continue my work in this company for my better career development.

i really appreciate your time for looking into it.i m eagerly waiting for your response as earlier.

Your's faithfully,

Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: describing your current learning, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your commitment to staying. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, while you mention skills like 'team management' and 'problem solving', you do not elaborate on how these specific skills would translate to the front office. The letter covers the requirements, but the tone is occasionally informal and the structure of the arguments could be more professional to fully meet the expectations of a formal business letter.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your points. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'In addition to that' is used, but the flow between sentences within paragraphs is often choppy. There are also issues with punctuation, such as missing spaces after periods and inconsistent capitalization, which disrupts the logical progression of your ideas. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that your sentences are clearly separated by correct punctuation.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range expected at higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing, such as 'so much valuable skills' and 'fruitful result'. There are also several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'transferring in front desk team' (should be 'transferring to the front desk team') and 'anywhere else company'. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more professional business terminology and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate for a formal letter to a manager.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('i m working', 'i gained'), tense usage ('Since past two-year i m working'), and missing articles ('in production department'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors, such as the run-on sentence starting with 'Since past two-year'. You need to focus on basic sentence construction, proper verb tenses, and consistent use of articles to improve your accuracy and range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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