Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing great. I am writing to request humbly to promote me to the sales department of our company. I started working with you two years ago as an assistant manager.

I have an incredible experience with managing department. I have not only improved my communication skills but also comes up as a more confident individual. I gained valuable customer services experience while working with your firm.

I would like to work in sales in upcoming years. It would be beneficial for our company as well If you would move me to sales department as I am familiar with company's in and outs. I would help the new employees by training them obviously as I am awarded as employee of the year two times.

I am fond of working environment of our company since all the workers here are so helpful. I have developed social and professional relationships with almost everyone. I really do not want to leave the company.

I would appreciate if you would consider my request of moving the department.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours regards,

Harpreet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points of the task effectively. You clearly stated what you learned in your current role, explained the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provided a clear reason for wanting to stay. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are slightly more developed; for instance, when mentioning your award, you could briefly explain how that specific achievement would translate into success in the sales department. Overall, the purpose of the letter is clear and the response is well-focused.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point from the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument easily. You use some cohesive devices such as 'not only... but also' and 'as well as'. However, the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition to this') to connect your sentences more fluidly. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is smooth, and the overall structure is logical and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'professional relationships', and 'customer services'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'comes up as' instead of 'have become' and 'awarded as' instead of 'received the award of'. Additionally, 'in and outs' is a slightly informal idiom; 'ins and outs' is the correct spelling, but 'intricacies' or 'inner workings' would be more professional. Expanding your range to include more precise business-related collocations would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'I hope you are doing great' is slightly informal; 'I hope this letter finds you well' is preferred. You also have errors in verb tense and agreement, such as 'I have an incredible experience with managing department' (should be 'managing the department') and 'If you would move me' (should be 'If you were to move me'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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