Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to requesting you to look up on my job stats as after 2 year, I personally think that I find myself more valuable towards HR Analyst role instead of Data Analyst in the same organization.

During my analyst role in data I have overcome with various challenges like solving data problems, visualising data and risk management. So, during my previous project our team has encountered various problems and we looked upon the problems, I easily solved all the problems and report to the head of the department and at that time he suggested me of joining the HR team. So, after thinking about this for last couple of weeks, I thought of giving myself chnage and try a new field of analyst.

If my application got rejected for the job change, however, I am not planning to leave this orgization because during my degree, I goot scholarship as well as my internship from this organization.

I would be grateful if my application get accepted for career change, looking forward to hear response from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Shivam Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The candidate has attempted all parts of the prompt, successfully covering what has been learned in the present job, suggesting a benefit to the company through the department move, and explaining why they do not wish to leave the organization. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion around previous projects and problem-solving lacks specific detail, and the explanation regarding the scholarship and internship is stated simply rather than fully elaborated. Furthermore, there are some inaccuracies in tone and directness for a professional workplace letter. While the core requirements of the task are addressed, the overall execution places the response firmly at Band 6.0 due to under-developed ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a clear beginning and ending, adopting the requested formal salutation and sign-off. Paragraphing is attempted to separate different points, such as the job history, the request for a change, and the reasons for staying. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. The writer relies heavily on basic conjunctions and repetitive transitional phrases like 'So, during my previous project...' and 'So, after thinking about this...'. Additionally, referencing and pronoun usage occasionally create ambiguity, such as tracking what 'the problems' refer to across sentences. This level of mechanical cohesion and occasional awkward flow aligns with the Band 6 descriptor.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate basic professional intentions, but it is limited and contains noticeable inaccuracies. The writer attempts less common vocabulary such as 'risk management', 'scholarship', and 'organization', but struggles with appropriate word choice and collocation in phrases like 'requesting you to look up on my job stats', 'giving myself chnage', and 'report to the head'. There are also spelling errors, such as 'chnage' instead of 'change' and 'goot' instead of 'got'. Because the vocabulary demonstrates an adequate range with some attempts at less common items despite noticeable errors and awkward collocations, a score of 6.0 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in structure. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies and preposition misuse, such as 'I am writing this letter to requesting', 'overcome with various challenges' instead of 'overcome various challenges', and 'looking forward to hear response' instead of 'looking forward to hearing a response'. Punctuation is also weak in places, notably run-on sentences joined by commas rather than proper conjunctions or full stops. Although these errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency prevents the writing from achieving a higher band, making Band 5.5 a fair and accurate assessment.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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