Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Ramesh,

I am Avadhesh Singh Shekhawat performing my duties under your supervision as an Sales Team Manager in Sales Department. As per my past records and appraisals I am a hardworking and disciplined employee of the company. From my present job i have learned about human nature, mental things, their motivation reasons, their expectations from company along with it I also completed my online MBA in Human Resource Management from a well recognized university with a gold medal so now I want to change my department from Sales to HR.

It will be beneficial for me as well as for the company itself because now I specialized in HR and have practical ground experience relevant to human resource management and also strongly aware about company policies and goals.

I have placement opportunity from University also but I do not want to leave this company because of its work life balance, future goals and business ethics.

So I request you to please consider my application and transfer my department from Sales to HR. It will be so kind of you.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter covers all three bullet points required in the task instructions. The student clearly states what was learned in the present job, including psychological insights and the completion of an MBA degree. The candidate suggests how the company would benefit by highlighting specialised HR knowledge and practical ground experience. Furthermore, the response explains the desire to stay with the company by citing work-life balance, future goals, and business ethics. The tone is appropriate for a workplace letter, and the purpose is clear from the beginning. Although some ideas could be slightly more expanded, all parts of the prompt are satisfactorily addressed, earning a solid Band 7.0 for this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter lacks proper paragraphing and is presented almost as a single dense block of text, with only a very short final paragraph. This impacts the overall visual and logical organisation. Cohesive devices are used to link ideas, such as 'along with it' and 'because now I specialized', but the referencing and transitions feel somewhat mechanical and abrupt. While the progression of ideas is understandable—moving from the current role to the desire to transfer, followed by company benefits and reasons for staying—the lack of distinct paragraphs for each point hinders a higher score. Cohesion is faulty in places, placing this aspect of the writing firmly at Band 5.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the workplace context, using terms like 'appraisals', 'disciplined employee', 'motivation reasons', and 'business ethics'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'performing my duties... as an Sales Team Manager' (an sales), 'mental things', and 'strongly aware about'. Additionally, awkward phrasing like 'It will be so kind of you' limits the precision of the language. While the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the message clearly, the frequency of lexical errors prevents the score from rising above a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating relative clauses and conjunctions. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are several punctuation and structural errors, such as missing articles ('as an Sales Team Manager', 'in Sales Department'), missing prepositions or incorrect prepositions ('From my present job i have learned', 'aware about'), and run-on sentences joined hastily with coordinating conjunctions without proper punctuation. Capitalisation errors ('i') also detract from the accuracy. Because errors frequently occur and cause some minor strain for the reader while simple sentences dominate the error-free portions, a Band 5.0 is appropriate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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