Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to inform you that about I feel that I need to upgrade my career journey. I would like move to a different department and want to enhance my career in another field.

Firstly, I have learned a lot of things during my career working as a UI/UX designer. This is because when I first came to this company I have only basic knowledge about designing a website and now I have a vast knowledge. For example, at first I do not know how to deal with customer, work on canva as a professional designer, and basic color concepts.

Furthermore, I want to upgrade my skill in a CyberSecurity Analyst. In addition, this technology is the most demanding nowadays. This skill will help company to upgrade their security instead of being hacked by the hacker. Therefore, I believe that I am capable to help to proctecting the security of the company.

Finally, I love to work here as an employer and do not want to leave this company. This is because this company help and support me when I was nobody. I would really apperciate that if you could transfer me to another department. Thank you!

Your sincerely,

Saniya

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter covers all three bullet points required in the prompt: it mentions what has been learned in the present job, suggests a benefit to the company regarding cybersecurity, and explains why the writer wishes to stay with the company. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited and the tone fluctuates slightly. The explanation of learning includes basic examples like 'how to deal with customer' and 'work on canva', while the transition to a Cybersecurity Analyst role is somewhat abrupt given that the current role is a UI/UX designer. Despite these minor limitations, the purpose of the letter is clear and all task requirements are addressed, aligning well with a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is arranged into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing learning and future goals, and a concluding paragraph expressing loyalty. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'Finally', which help structure the letter. However, some referencing and logical flow feel a bit mechanical, particularly the leap from UI/UX design to cybersecurity. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the overall progression of the letter is reasonably clear, supporting a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with attempts at less common lexical items such as 'CyberSecurity Analyst', 'professional designer', and 'career journey'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'upgrade my career journey' instead of advance my career, 'help to proctecting' with incorrect verb forms, and referring to an employer as 'as an employer' when the writer means as an employee. Spelling and word formation errors like 'apperciate' also occur. These errors do not impede communication, placing the vocabulary in the Band 6.0 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The letter demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'This is because when I first came to this company I have only basic knowledge...' and 'I would really apperciate that if you could transfer me...'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout, including 'that about I feel', 'I have only basic knowledge' (tense inconsistency), 'at first I do not know', and 'help company to upgrade'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but frequent minor errors in verb tenses and prepositions mean that control is inconsistent, fitting the Band 5.5 to 6.0 profile well.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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