Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear sir,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I am moving from medicine unit to surgery department from next month.

I worked as a personal support worker for 2 years in medicine unit. At this position I have learned a lot of skills including prioritization, time management as well as communication.

I recently got my registered nurse license and got job opportunity in surgery ward. Therefore, I am moving to that department from upcoming month. This unit was experiencing short staff from last two months. Now I will work into that department and decrease the burden of other collegues. I hope I would provide excellent care to patients and make same reputation into that department as well.

Since I am working in this company from last 2 years, I am pleased from flexible hours and fair wages. Additionally, it's near my home so its convenient for me to travel. Thus, I want to continue my job with your company.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter effectively covers all the bullet points outlined in the prompt, although the tone and approach require adjustment for a realistic workplace scenario. The student states what was learned in the present job, such as 'prioritization, time management as well as communication', and explains why they do not wish to leave the company, citing 'flexible hours and fair wages'. However, the instruction asks the student to 'suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department', but the student writes 'I am moving... from next month' as a fait accompli rather than requesting permission or proposing a career move to their manager. This shifts the purpose slightly from a formal request to an announcement. Nonetheless, all core requirements are touched upon, leading to a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is arranged into logical paragraphs, starting with an introduction, moving through the body points, and concluding with reasons for staying at the company. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty. For instance, the transition 'I recently got my registered nurse license and got job opportunity in surgery ward. Therefore, I am moving to that department from upcoming month' lacks smooth linking to the preceding paragraph. Paragraphing is also somewhat unconventional, with a single-sentence opening and a cluster of ideas in the middle paragraph. Referencing is generally clear, but overall progression is mildly disjointed, fitting the Band 6 descriptor well.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, featuring some relevant professional terms such as 'prioritization', 'time management', and 'registered nurse license'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors that prevent a higher score. For example, the student writes 'medicine unit' instead of 'medical unit', 'short staff' instead of 'short-staffed', and 'decrease the burden of other collegues' (which contains a spelling error). Phrases like 'make same reputation into that department' are awkward and unnatural. The range is sufficient to communicate the message, but inaccuracies limit the score to a Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'Since I am working in this company from last 2 years, I am pleased from flexible hours and fair wages.' There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense usage ('I worked as a personal support worker for 2 years' should typically be present perfect continuous 'have been working') and prepositions ('work into that department', 'pleased from'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, and while the errors are frequent, they rarely impede overall communication, supporting a Band 5.5 score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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