Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear madam or sir,

I wanted to let you know that I am working in a beginner department from last two years as

a software developer. I have already gained enough experience in this field.I can make a whole website by my own self without any supervision.I have made some projects to show you as my results.

As we do have some global meetings with the worldwide companies in couple of months.I am very interested participating in those meetings.if you could move me to pro department where I am able to present my company on globle level.It will also assit the company to show some fresh faces from their side.

I got some offers from our competitors companies which i already rejected . because i gave this company my 2 years and do not want to look back and start from the begining.I expecting a grow in your company and will do my best.

Thank you for your consideration,

Yours faithfully

Gagan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all three bullet points required in the prompt. The student mentions learning software development skills over the past two years, suggests that moving to the 'pro department' will benefit the company by presenting fresh faces on a global level, and explains a desire to stay due to loyalty and rejecting competitor offers. However, the tone and register are somewhat inconsistent and informal for a professional business letter. The ideas are relevant and fulfill the functional requirements of the task, earning a solid Band 6.0 for addressing all parts of the prompt, although some points like the exact company benefits could be expanded further.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The letter is organised into four distinct paragraphs, creating a basic structural framework. However, the logical progression is occasionally hindered by abrupt transitions and mechanical referencing. For example, starting paragraphs with 'As we do have...' and 'I got some offers...' feels disjointed. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes inaccurate, such as starting a sentence with a lowercase letter ('if you could move me...') or fragmenting sentences awkwardly ('I can make a whole website by my own self without any supervision.I have made some projects to show you as my results.'). Paragraphing is present, but overall cohesion is faulty, placing this response firmly at Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, showing a limited range appropriate for workplace communication. Phrases like 'beginner department', 'pro department', and 'globle level' demonstrate noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and collocation. Attempts at less common vocabulary are either inaccurate or awkward. While the meaning is generally communicated despite errors in spelling ('globle', 'assit', 'begining'), the lexical resource is restricted, aligning with the Band 5.0 descriptor where vocabulary is limited and noticeable errors cause some difficulty for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent errors in tense, preposition usage, and punctuation throughout the text. For instance, 'I am working in a beginner department from last two years' incorrectly uses 'from' instead of 'for'. Other issues include sentence fragments ('without any supervision.I have made...') and subject-verb agreement or tense errors ('I expecting a grow'). Because the errors are frequent and often cause strain for the reader, the grammar performance falls short of Band 6.0, settling at Band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.