Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear William,

Hope you are doing well. I am writing to bring your notice that, I am willing to move to cardiology department which would help me to build my career and I surely believe that, this move could help me to gain more knowledge and experience.

In the cardiology department I got the privilege to treat the patients with all types of heart diseases which includes, coronary artery diseases, heart blocks and cardiac failure patients which helped me to gain the significant knowledge and insight.

Now I would like to move to emergency cardiology & general surgery combined department where I can be able to learn the surgeries as well as emergency case handlings. It could be helpful for the company to work in 2 different departments at a same time and reduce the cost of labour and potentially benefit the management to gain excellent positive feedback from the patients.

Overall, I'm so gland and pleasure to be work with our company all the time because I really like the organisational culture, work ethics and work life balance here which I never observed in other companies and I'm willing to work here at any cost.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all the required bullet points from the prompt. The writer mentions what they have learned in their current job, specifically noting that working in the cardiology department helped them gain 'significant knowledge and insight' into heart diseases. They suggest how the company would benefit by mentioning that moving to a combined department would help the company 'work in 2 different departments at a same time and reduce the cost of labour.' Furthermore, they explain why they do not wish to leave the company by praising the organisational culture and work-life balance. However, the logic behind reducing labour costs by moving an employee to an emergency department is slightly unusual and under-developed, and the tone wanders slightly towards the end. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, placing it at a solid Band 6.5 to 7.0 range; we award a Band 6.0 as some ideas are slightly strained or under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a traditional greeting and standard paragraph structure, moving logically from the current situation to future goals and reasons for staying. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or awkwardly deployed, such as starting consecutive sentences with 'Now I would like' and 'Overall, I'm so gland and pleasure'. Paragraphing is present, but the flow between sentences in the body paragraphs occasionally feels abrupt due to punctuation issues and run-on structures. Referencing is generally clear, but the logical progression could be smoother. These features correspond well to the Band 6 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate to a workplace context, including terms like 'organisational culture', 'work ethics', and 'coronary artery diseases'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'bring your notice' instead of 'bring to your notice', 'emergency case handlings', and 'gland and pleasure' (a typo for glad and pleased). While the writer attempts less common lexical items, these inaccuracies restrict the score. The vocabulary is adequate for the task and communication is not impeded, fitting the Band 6 criteria.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses such as 'which includes, coronary artery diseases' and 'which I never observed in other companies'. However, there are frequent errors in punctuation and grammar, including comma splices and awkward phrasing ('I am writing to bring your notice that, I am willing...', 'at a same time', and 'to be work with our company'). Some complex structures are faulty, particularly regarding verb forms ('can be able to learn' instead of 'will be able to learn'). The errors do not impede overall communication, placing this securely at Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.