Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to inform you of my desire to be moved form my current medical department to the emergency unit of the hospital.

In the course of my 2 years stay in this job, i have learned, improved and acquired new skills. i now know how to work closelyand meaningfully in a team work, increased my understanding of the local dialects which has helps me communicate better with the patients, works under pressure and have learned to manage conflicts that arises in the job.

I believe moving me to the new department will enhance my carreer growth and at the same time be benefical to the hospital. my ability to work well under pressure, resolve conflicts and collaborate well with other health care team will help me deliver a timely, individualized and evidence-base care to my patients with goals of attaining a better health and preventing disability. This will further increase the positive view of the organisation by the people and the community at large.

I have enjoyed my 48 months here, the workers are friendly, the environment is nice, the work conditions are favourable. All these and more has impacted my decisionto continue my service here.

Thank you for your continous support and I look forward to a positive response soon.

Yours faithfully

Anagah Mercy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all three bullet points required in the prompt. You successfully mention what you have learned in your present job, such as working under pressure and managing conflicts. You suggest how the company and hospital would benefit from your move by highlighting your ability to deliver timely, individualized care that enhances the organization's reputation. Finally, you explain why you do not wish to leave the company by praising the friendly workers, nice environment, and favourable work conditions. The purpose of the letter is clear, and the tone is appropriate for communicating with a manager. However, the mention of '48 months' in the fourth paragraph contradicts your earlier statement of a '2 years stay' in the second paragraph, presenting a minor inconsistency in detail. Overall, all parts of the task are addressed adequately, earning a solid Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical paragraph structure, beginning with an opening statement of purpose, followed by paragraphs addressing your learning, benefits to the hospital, reasons for staying, and a polite sign-off. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'In the course of my', 'At the same time', and 'All these and more'. However, there are some cohesion and referencing faults throughout the text, such as missing capitalizations at the beginning of sentences and a slightly mechanical flow in places. Paragraphing is generally appropriate, and the overall arrangement allows the reader to follow your message easily. These minor structural flaws place the letter firmly at a Band 6.0 for this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common phrases such as 'evidence-base care', 'preventing disability', and 'carreer growth'. However, there are several noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and form. For instance, 'form' is used instead of 'from', 'carreer' has a spelling error, 'benefical' is misspelled, and 'evidence-base' should be 'evidence-based'. Furthermore, there is some repetition in vocabulary when discussing your skills. While these lexical errors and spelling mistakes do not impede communication, they prevent the writing from achieving a higher band score. Therefore, a Band 6.0 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses and conditional ideas. There are, however, frequent grammatical errors, particularly concerning punctuation and capitalization at the beginnings of sentences (e.g., 'i now know', 'my ability'). You also make minor grammatical slips such as 'works under pressure' (discord with 'I'), 'conflicts that arises' (plural subject with singular verb), and missing prepositions or articles. Despite these errors, the meaning is generally clear and communication is rarely impeded. Because of the frequency of basic grammatical and punctuation errors alongside attempts at complex forms, this corresponds to a Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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