Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Mr. James,

I am writing to request an internal department transfer to the investment division. I joined to the organization two years ago as an management trainee and promoted to the finance manager last year. However, I believe I am more interest in fund management than accounting.

While I was working as the management trainee, I have learned team management, work prioritation and coordination with suppliers. After the promotion, I was more involved with report prepartion on strick deadlines and presentations to board members, which enhanced my presenation skills and efficiency.

As I completed my master's program specialised in fund management, I realised that I am more competent with this subject area. Therefore, I am confident that I can make investment decisions and manage company portfolio well. Since the company is looking to increase the investment income, I am willing to help the company and team with my knowledge.

Although there are plenty of opportunities in the market, I would like to stay in the company because the firm helped me with flexible time schedules while I was pursuing my master's program. Additionally, I believe company has a great future for me.

I hope you would consider my request and I hope to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Yumi G.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have successfully covered all the bullet points outlined in the prompt. You mentioned what you have learned in your present job, such as 'team management, work prioritation and coordination with suppliers' during your time as a management trainee. You suggested how the company would benefit by stating 'I am confident that I can make investment decisions and manage company portfolio well' and supporting the team with your knowledge to increase investment income. Furthermore, you explained why you do not wish to leave the company by highlighting your gratitude for the firm's flexible time schedules while you were pursuing your master's program. Your purpose for writing is clear throughout the letter, and the tone is appropriate for a manager. Therefore, your performance fully satisfies the requirements of this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

Your letter has a clear logical organisation and progression from your opening request to your final sign-off. You use paragraphing appropriately, dedicating each paragraph to a distinct theme: your current request and background, your skills learned, your academic qualifications and how the company benefits, and your reasons for staying. You employ cohesive devices such as 'However', 'While I was working', 'Therefore', and 'Although' to link your ideas. However, there are some minor mechanical links and occasional referencing hiccups, such as 'Additionally, I believe company has a great future for me' where an article is missing. Overall, the structure is easy to follow and coherent.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-specific terms such as 'internal department transfer', 'management trainee', 'fund management', and 'investment income'. You also make appropriate use of less common items like 'competent', 'specialised', and 'pursuing'. However, there are a few lexical inaccuracies and word-choice errors, such as saying 'joined to the organization' instead of 'joined the organisation', and 'more interest' instead of 'more interested'. Spelling errors like 'prioritation' (prioritisation), 'prepartion' (preparation), 'strick' (strict), and 'presenation' (presentation) also occur. These errors do not impede communication, but they prevent you from achieving a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You display a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional and subordinate clauses like 'While I was working as the management trainee, I have learned...' and 'Since the company is looking to increase the investment income, I am willing to help...'. There are several frequent error-free sentences, showing good control overall. However, a number of grammatical errors persist, such as tense shifts ('I joined to the organization... and promoted' where 'was promoted' is needed), missing articles ('I believe company has'), and prepositions. While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to easily understand your meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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