Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Respected Sir,

I am writing this letter about my present job and it is important for my career development in the other department of the hospital. I have learned a numerous thing from my present job two years ago. At that time, I was a fresher nurse who completed our nursing course from Chandigarh and I tried to got a job in your hospitl and now I am trained nurse and worker in your hospital.

I have suggest to you, if you can move to me in your other department of your hospital, then I helps to other fresher nurses in your hospital with my two years experience.

I do not leave this job,because it is my dream job and I can face a lot of difficulties to achieve this, So I gave so mant efforts for this in my childhood.

I look forward to hearning from you.

Your faithfully

Yashandeep

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all three bullet points from the prompt: it mentions what was learned in the present job, suggests a benefit to the company of moving to another department, and explains the desire to stay within the company. However, the development of these ideas is quite limited and basic. For instance, the bullet point regarding what has been learned mentions becoming a 'trained nurse', but lacks depth. The suggestion of how the company would benefit is expressed simply as helping fresher nurses. The tone is also slightly inappropriate for a professional workplace letter, opening with 'Respected Sir' rather than a standard professional salutation. Nevertheless, all parts of the prompt are addressed, fulfilling the requirements for a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The letter lacks proper paragraphing, with most of the text clumped into a single large block of writing followed by a very short second paragraph. This makes the overall structure somewhat difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are minimal and basic, such as 'and' or 'because', and some transitions are awkward or inaccurate, such as 'I have suggest to you, if you can move to me'. There is a lack of clear overall progression, and referencing is occasionally confusing. While the general message can be understood, the organizational flaws and weak cohesive ties place this response firmly in the Band 5.0 category.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, such as 'job', 'hospital', and 'nurse'. There are also several noticeable word choice and spelling errors that detract from the writing, including 'a numerous thing' instead of 'numerous things', 'fresher nurse', 'hospitl', and 'hearning'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for conveying simple ideas, but these frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher band score. Therefore, a score of 5.0 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain severe errors. Examples include 'I tried to got a job', 'if you can move to me in your other department', 'I do not leave this job,because it is my dream job and I can face a lot of difficulties to achieve this', and 'So I gave so mant efforts'. Frequent errors in tense consistency, preposition usage, and sentence structure make reading difficult at times. Simple sentences are also occasionally flawed. This level of grammatical accuracy and range aligns with the Band 4.5 or 5.0 descriptors, warranting a score of 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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