Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to inform you about my career progress in the facility, which i am due to be promoted to a higher level. I have spent more than two years in this facility and i have worked in different departments. I hope the management will consider this promotion.

Firstly, working in the same facility for a long period of time have made me to learn, unlearn and re-learn many things about my career and patient development. Working from a less stressful unit to dealing with critical unit has strenghten my knowlegde and abilities. Especially working in the critical care unit and also putting my junior collegues through the right part of the facility policies. Therefore, i believe if my career will be promoted to a higher position, it will motivate me and develop me in my career.

Furthermore, if the management move me to the nurse manager position, I believe i will handle the position well and ensure all the nursing staffs behave appropiately, treating patient right and ensure the follow the rules and regulation of the facility. I want to continue to work in this facility because it has build my career and i believe if i continue to work here I will be able to build other nursing staffs.

Thank you for your time and consideration, i hope for a positive feedback from the management.

Yours faithfully,

Sofiat.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all parts of the prompt well. You clearly explain what you have learned in your present job, such as moving 'from a less stressful unit to dealing with critical unit'. You suggest how the company would benefit by stating that you will 'ensure all the nursing staffs behave appropiately' and 'build other nursing staffs'. You also explain why you do not wish to leave the company, noting that it has built your career. However, the tone fluctuates slightly between requesting a department transfer (as stated in the prompt) and asking for a direct promotion to nurse manager, which slightly impacts task focus. Overall, the ideas are relevant and well-developed, earning a solid band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure with a clear beginning and ending. Paragraphing is used to separate different ideas, such as learning experiences and future contributions. Cohesive devices are employed, although some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive, such as starting consecutive sentences and paragraphs with 'Furthermore' and 'Therefore'. Referencing is generally clear, but occasional pronoun slips like 'i' instead of capital 'I' distract slightly from the flow. Progression of ideas is maintained throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common workplace and medical terminology such as 'critical care unit', 'policies', and 'management'. However, there are several noticeable spelling and word choice errors, including 'knowlegde' instead of knowledge, 'collegues' instead of colleagues, 'part' instead of path, and 'appropiately'. Furthermore, verbs and nouns do not always agree, such as 'treat patient right' instead of treating patients correctly. These lexical errors do not impede communication, but they restrict the score to this band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms attempted in your writing. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent basic errors, such as capitalization issues ('i' instead of 'I'), subject-verb agreement errors like 'working... have made me', and prepositions used incorrectly, such as 'putting my junior collegues through the right part' instead of path. Complex structures are often faulty, and punctuation errors are present throughout the text. While meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors places this response firmly in the band 5 range for grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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