Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Oliver,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter regarding my interest to move in the different employee department in your company. I feel so grateful to be a part of your team.

To begin with, I am working as a early childhood educator in one of the branch of your day care chain called 'Little Camp'. I have been working at your Brampton location since past 2 years. I have learned outstanding experience by dealing with families and taking care of different age-group children.

I am interesting to move in your administrative department as a Supervisor so I can serve more families. Currently, I am working with only one classroom parents and children but if I get opportuniuty, I can assist more families. I would try my best to get more admission which could support your business economically.

I am fascinating to stay with the same company because it provides me the paychecks wisely and supporting my family with health insurence policy which play significant role to maintain their health status by regular free doctor check-ups.

I hope you will pay your consideration regarding my request. I will be thankful for your attention.

Yours sincerely,

Tam.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all three bullet points required by the prompt successfully. The candidate states what has been learned, mentioning outstanding experience dealing with families and young children at the Brampton location. The candidate also suggests how the company would benefit by moving to the administrative department, specifically noting that getting more admissions could economically support the business. Finally, the reasons for not wishing to leave the company are explained, highlighting the paychecks and health insurance policy. The purpose of the letter is clear, and the tone is appropriate for communicating with a manager. The ideas are adequately developed, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.5 or 7.0, although some points like business benefits could be slightly more extended. Overall, all parts of the prompt are addressed satisfactorily.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a clear, conventional structure with a standard greeting and sign-off. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different points, such as past learning, proposed departmental change, and reasons for staying. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'To begin with,' to signal the progression of ideas. However, referencing and transitions are sometimes a bit mechanical or basic, and certain sentences feel slightly disjointed. For instance, the transition into the fourth paragraph regarding why the writer wants to stay could be smoother. Nevertheless, the overall arrangement is coherent, and the reader can easily follow the progression of the writer's thoughts and requests from start to finish.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common phrases such as 'early childhood educator,' 'administrative department,' and 'health insurance policy.' However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices throughout the text. For example, the student writes 'interest to move in the different employee department' instead of 'interest in moving to a different department,' and 'I am interesting' instead of 'I am interested.' Additionally, words like 'opportuniuty' (spelling error) and 'fascinating' instead of 'fascinated' or 'glad' show limitations in control of less common vocabulary. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they restrict the lexical score to a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as conditional forms like 'if I get opportuniuty, I can assist more families.' There are, however, several grammatical inaccuracies and preposition errors present. Examples include 'move in the different employee department' (instead of 'to'), 'since past 2 years' (instead of 'for the past 2 years'), and 'paychecks wisely and supporting my family' (faulty parallelism and tense consistency). Punctuation and articles also contain occasional slips, such as 'in one of the branch' instead of 'branches.' Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout, and they rarely impede the reader's understanding, fitting the Band 6.0 profile well.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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