Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to request a transfer to sales department to develop my future. My name is Sukh working as a production department team supervisor for five years.

With the experience I have gained till now, I have the knowledge of market demand and supply for every product our company make because before the completion of orders I personally analysied the market trend that helped me enhance my erudition.

However, a couple of times, when I thoroughly checked, I found duplicate orders from some companies, therefore I informed our sales department to double-check the entire product list. Therefore, I believe, my detail-oriented approach will help department to increase the sales proportion that will consequently grow overall Company's profit.

Due to exceptional policies and benefits of this enterprise, I do not want to switch to different organisation. Moreover, I have trustful connection in this company that I do not want to loose.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

Yours sincerely,

Sukh

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response successfully covers all the bullet points outlined in the task instructions. You clearly state what you have learned in your present job, specifically mentioning your knowledge of market demand and supply and your detail-oriented approach. You also suggest how the company would benefit by explaining that your meticulous checking of orders can help increase sales proportions and overall company profit. Furthermore, you explain why you do not wish to leave the company by highlighting the enterprise's exceptional policies and your trustful connections. Your purpose for writing is clear throughout the letter, and all parts of the prompt are adequately addressed, earning a solid Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter maintains a clear overall progression and logical organisation. You begin with a direct opening stating the purpose of your letter and logically move through your current learning, the benefits to the company, and your reasons for staying. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as in the body paragraphs discussing market trends and company loyalty. However, some cohesive devices feel slightly repetitive or mechanical, such as the repeated use of 'Therefore' and 'Moreover', which prevents the cohesion from feeling entirely natural. Referencing is mostly clear, resulting in a Band 6.5 for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for a general workplace context, using terms like 'production department team supervisor', 'detail-oriented approach', and 'duplicate orders'. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'erudition', though it is used slightly unnaturally in this context. You also make a few lexical and spelling errors, such as 'analysied' instead of 'analysed', 'loose' instead of 'lose', and referring to the 'sales department' after mentioning a transfer to the 'sales department' in the first paragraph. These minor errors do not impede communication, placing your lexical performance at a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You employ a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout the letter, such as conditional and subordinate clauses in sentences like '...when I thoroughly checked, I found duplicate orders from some companies, therefore I informed our sales department...'. There are, however, several grammatical and punctuation errors, including comma splices and minor preposition issues, such as writing 'working as a production department team supervisor' instead of 'working as a production department team supervisor for five years' without proper separation, and 'help department' missing an article ('help the department'). These errors occasionally disrupt the flow but do not impede understanding, supporting a Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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