Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Andrew,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter with regard to my career development within the same company.

I believe that I have excelled working in the restaurant since I had began my journey and earning the well deserved promotion last quarter. I have learnt a lot from all my associates and managers and grown in personal and professional life while working the department.

I feel that now it's time to switch my department and learn something new that can be beneficial for me and company's growth and you can guide me for the same. Since working in the company from last 3 years, I have shown company my dedication and trust. Heading a new department would be a next challenge for me and opportunity to showcase my skills.

I would appreciate your guidance in moving me to a different department and look forward to hearing from you.

Kind Regards,

Saurabh

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response covers all three bullet points required in the task instructions. You successfully state what you have learned by mentioning your time working in the restaurant and earning a promotion. You suggest how the company would benefit by explaining that heading a new department would allow you to showcase your skills and bring fresh growth. Finally, you explain why you do not wish to leave the company by highlighting your dedication over the past three years and your desire for internal career development. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. Although some ideas could be slightly more fully extended to reach a higher band level, all parts of the prompt are addressed clearly and relevantly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter exhibits a coherent overall arrangement with a clear beginning and ending. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate your introduction, learning experiences, future goals, and closing remarks. Cohesive devices are generally present, such as 'Since working in the company' and 'Heading a new department', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Referencing is mostly clear, allowing the reader to follow your career progression and desires easily. However, a more sophisticated use of logical connectors would elevate the cohesion to a higher standard.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for a workplace context, using terms such as 'career development', 'promotion', 'dedication', and 'colleagues'. There are some attempts at less common phrasing, such as 'showcase my skills'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations, such as 'since I had began' (should be 'began') and 'grown in personal and professional life while working the department' (missing preposition 'in'). These errors do not impede communication, but they prevent the vocabulary score from reaching the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The letter features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'I believe that I have excelled...' and 'Since working in the company from last 3 years...'. There are several grammatical errors present, notably tense usage ('since I had began' instead of 'since I began') and prepositions ('working the department' instead of 'working in the department'). Furthermore, 'from last 3 years' should be 'for the past 3 years'. While these errors do not block the reader's understanding, their frequency means that error-free sentences are not in the majority.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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