Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Prajeesh Sir,

I hope you are doing great. I am writing this letter to express my interest for internal transfer for gathering more knowledge and experience of different department with in the banking company.

Firstly, I have learned and gained the all the necessary knowledge related to our saving account department. Not only I am more aware of all the rules and regulation impose by the central bank and government and also the company policies related to our department but also I have also gained experience of each sub category and different account with in saving account let it be fixed deposit, Recurring deposit, checking account and other variants.

Secondly, as I have learned everything about the one side liabilities side of banking model, now I wish to learn other side of same thing so that i know everything how the liabilities side work for a bank and even this will be an great opportunity for my company also that we will get I qualified and experienced inhouse person who gather the knowledge of entire department and accordingly take help in making important decisions.

Thirdly, I have been working more than 2 years with the company and I see great future and many growth opportunities for me and my career. Moreover, the company values and working culture matches my personal thoughts and it almost feels like home when I am here at work. So that's the reason I don't wish to this enterprise in upcoming years.

I hope you acknowledge and consider my request for internal transfer to another team for the growth and development purpose.

Thanks and Regards,

Krishnkant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The student successfully covers all bullet points of the prompt. First, the letter states what has been learned in the present job, specifically mentioning experience in the saving account department and various sub-categories like fixed deposits. Second, it suggests how the company would benefit by providing an experienced in-house person who knows the entire department to help make important decisions. Third, it explains why the writer does not wish to leave the company, highlighting growth opportunities and cultural alignment. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. Ideas are relevant and developed adequately, although some parts are slightly repetitive in phrasing. Overall, the task is well addressed, meeting the criteria for a solid performance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter is logically organised with a clear beginning, middle, and end. The student uses standard paragraphing and employs transition signals such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Thirdly' to sequence points clearly. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally faulty or mechanical. For example, expressions like 'the other side of same thing' and 'so that i know everything how the liabilities side work' disrupt the natural flow of ideas. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct points, but the overarching logical progression is occasionally hindered by clunky transitional phrasing and minor cohesion lapses.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'internal transfer', 'fixed deposit', 'recurring deposit', and 'corporate values'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors throughout the response, such as 'express my interest for internal transfer' instead of 'in', 'gather the knowledge' instead of 'gain', and 'liabilities side of banking model'. Spelling is generally good, but awkward phrasing like 'i qualified and experienced inhouse person' detracts from precision. The vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey meaning, but lacks the flexibility and natural control required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety. However, grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede smooth reading. Examples include missing articles ('for internal transfer'), incorrect prepositions ('with in the banking company'), and subject-verb agreement or tense inconsistencies ('who gather the knowledge' and 'so that i know everything how the liabilities side work'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but run-on sentences with excessive conjunctions appear in the body paragraphs. While meaning is ultimately recoverable, the frequency of basic and complex structural errors keeps this criterion at band 5.5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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