Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Manager,

Staring with the compliment, I am enjoying my time as the lead supervisor of the shipping department in your company and I held all my duties and reposibilities with proper gudance and supervision and I also want to tell you that recently I have completed a decade working in the same department.

However, It is crystal clear that the growth of my career is hindered by the assigned post, as I have not seen any growth in myself from last 10 years, Therefore, I am writting this letter to request you to give me assisstant manger post along with increased salary package and benefits. Recently our assisstant manger has resigned from his and I think that I would be the perfect match for this designation, Our company is already loosing the profit because their is no person to assisst you.

Honestly, I love the company and working environment and I do not want to leave the company just because I am not being complimented and awarded with the position that I deserve, I accomplish every job requiremnet for this post and I hope that you will consider me for this vacant job position.

I am looking forward to hearing from you,

Thanks and Regards,

Tarspreet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You addressed all parts of the task prompt, including what you have learned, how the company would benefit, and why you do not wish to leave. However, there are some contradictions and tone issues. You mention you have worked there for a decade and learned a lot, yet you state you have not seen any growth in the last 10 years. Additionally, the tone becomes slightly demanding and overly direct when requesting an increased salary package and criticizing the company for losing profit. A more polite and professional tone is expected in a formal workplace letter to a manager. Therefore, the task is only partially covered in terms of appropriate register and clear, logical positioning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter lacks proper paragraphing, as it is condensed into only a few very long blocks of text instead of distinct, logically separated paragraphs for each bullet point. Furthermore, cohesive devices are sometimes forced or inaccurate, such as 'Staring with the compliment,' which is unnatural and grammatically incorrect. Referencing and logical progression between sentences are occasionally faulty, making it hard to follow the sequence of ideas smoothly. While the overall purpose of the letter is clear, the mechanical structuring and lack of clear paragraph breaks significantly hinder the flow of the writing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You demonstrate a basic range of vocabulary adequate for the task, using terms such as 'shipping department,' 'career development,' and 'working environment.' However, there are numerous spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'Staring' instead of Starting, 'reposibilities' instead of responsibilities, 'gudance' instead of guidance, 'assisstant' and 'manger' instead of assistant and manager, 'writting' instead of writing, and 'loosing' instead of losing. These lexical errors and misspellings indicate a limited control over word formation and spelling, capping your lexical score at a band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical accuracy is notably weak. There are frequent run-on sentences joined by commas rather than proper conjunctions or full stops, such as 'Our company is already loosing the profit because their is no person to assisst you.' You also make basic tense and agreement errors, such as 'from last 10 years' instead of for the last 10 years, and misuse of pronouns and articles. These frequent errors in grammar and punctuation cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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