Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Rajive,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this to request you for my promotion in Electrical Engineering department of our company. I have been working under your supervision in the Electronics repair section since last two years. Over the year I have gain not only qualitive knowledge but also hand on experience on various equipments. Additionally, I have expertise in troubleshooting and testing of these devices.

I personally belive that, my transmission in the other section will offers wide range of benefits to the union. The elemantary merit is production will increse, we will not depends on private engineer to complete the task and resolve the query. Which will reduce labour costs and duration of fixing machineries. Moreover, my multitasking skills will assist workplace in the different areas, thus manpower demands will decrease drastically.

Although job location quite far from my home, the supports from collegue and management team inspired me to continue working here. Apart from this I am planning to settle my family near by company area, therefore I have no plan to leave the job.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I will look forward for your positive prompt response.

Yours sincerely,

Yash Patel.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully covers all the required bullet points of the task prompt. You clearly mention what has been learned in your present job ('qualitive knowledge' and 'hand on experience on various equipments' in the Electronics repair section), suggest how the company would benefit from moving you ('production will increse', reduction in labour costs and reliance on private engineers), and explain why you do not wish to leave the company (supportive colleagues and management, and plans to settle your family nearby). The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the purpose of the letter is slightly confused in the opening sentence where you request a 'promotion' rather than a transfer to a different department, which misaligns slightly with the prompt's focus on moving to a different department. Despite this minor misdirection, all core requirements are adequately addressed, earning a solid band score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter is organised into clear, distinct paragraphs that correspond to the standard structure of a professional correspondence. Ideas are logically sequenced, beginning with the greeting and purpose, moving through your learning and company benefits, explaining your reasons for staying, and concluding politely. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Although', though some transitions are mechanically applied or awkward, such as 'Which will reduce labour costs' starting a sentence fragment. Referencing is mostly clear, and paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct themes such as job performance, departmental transfer benefits, and personal motivation to stay. Overall, the structural progression is logical and easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common business and technical terminology such as 'troubleshooting', 'multitasking skills', and 'manpower demands'. However, there are notable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices throughout the text. For instance, you wrote 'transmission' instead of 'transfer', 'elemantary merit' instead of 'primary advantage', and 'increse' which is a spelling error. Other vocabulary slips include 'hand on experience' (hands-on) and 'collegue' (colleagues). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they demonstrate a lack of precision and control over less common lexical items, placing your vocabulary performance firmly in the band 6 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The text contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use varied structures such as conditional and subordinate clauses ('Although job location quite far from my home, the supports from collegue...'). However, there are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the response. Examples include missing articles ('in Electrical Engineering department'), incorrect preposition use ('in the Electronics repair section since last two years' instead of 'for the last two years'), subject-verb agreement issues ('production will increse, we will not depends'), and sentence fragments ('Which will reduce labour costs'). Punctuation is also occasionally faulty, such as unnecessary commas ('I personally belive that, my transmission...'). While meaning is generally clear despite these errors, they occur with enough frequency to prevent the grammar score from reaching a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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