Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to formally request you for my transfer to another department as I have been working in your company as a manager for two years. For my career prospects, I would prefer to work in another department to boarden my prespective as working in different setting will help me to boost my existing skills.

By working as a manager in your company, I have learned numerous skills such as communication skills, multi-tasking and problem solving. Initially, I was very hesitant but through your constant support and appreciation of senior colleagues assist me to continue my hardwork. Now, I would like to gain experience in another department particularly marketing as I believe that it will help me to enhance my career development opportunities which are essential for a sustainable future.

I believe that working in a distinct department will help me to use my experience for the prosperity and success of your company. I would use my knowledge and skills with my junior colleagues so that they can work diligently.

However, working in your company is a honor for me and I would prefer to serve as a competative employ as long as I could.I would appreciate your efforts if you consider my request.

Waiting for your response,

Your faithfully,

Albert Eraj.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The student has successfully covered all bullet points outlined in the task instructions. The letter explains what was learned in the present job, such as 'communication skills, multi-tasking and problem solving'. It suggests how the company would benefit from moving the writer to a different department, noting that they 'would use my knowledge and skills with my junior colleagues so that they can work diligently.' Furthermore, the response successfully explains why the writer does not wish to leave the company by stating that 'working in your company is a honor for me'. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal business letter, and the purpose is clearly communicated throughout. All requirements are fully addressed with relevant, supportive ideas, aligning well with the Band 7 criteria.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter is logically organised into clear paragraphs, each addressing a distinct aspect of the prompt, from introduction to learning outcomes, benefits, loyalty, and closing. Cohesive devices are used adequately to connect ideas, such as 'Initially', 'Now', and 'However'. However, paragraphing could be slightly refined, and transitions between sentences occasionally feel a bit mechanical. Referencing and substitution are generally clear, though some minor mechanical errors in cohesion slightly disrupt the flow. Overall, the essay demonstrates a clear overall progression and logical organisation throughout, meeting the standard for a Band 6.5 or solid 6.0, rounded here to 6.5 due to clear logical structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'career prospects', 'sustainable future', and 'diligently'. However, there are notable spelling and word choice errors that detract from precision. For example, 'boarden' should be 'broaden', 'prespective' should be 'perspective', 'competative' should be 'competitive', and 'employ' should be 'employee'. Additionally, phrases like 'request you for my transfer' are slightly unnatural. Despite these errors, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the message clearly without impeding communication, fitting the descriptors for Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. There are, however, several grammatical errors throughout the text. For instance, 'appreciation of senior colleagues assist me' contains a subject-verb agreement error, and 'working in your company is a honor' should use 'an honor'. Punctuation errors also occur, such as a missing space after a period before 'I would appreciate'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the grammar score from reaching Band 7. Control of basic structures is good, but accuracy in complex forms needs improvement, supporting a Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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