Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Matron,

How are you doing? I'm writting this letter to you to request for a change of department. I have been working in dialysis unit for about two years of joining the company and i must say,I have learnt a lot within this period. I have improved in a lot of things such as, attention to details, effective communication and proper triage system. Now I want to work in the intencive department.

Having learnt all these skills in dialysis unit, I feel I'm not yet good at responding to emergencies, Hence my reason for requesting a change to ICU department. I believe gaining this skill will contribute to the ongoing success of the organisation as it will help improve the quality of patient care.

I applied for a part-time training in other hospital but on a second thought. I believe this organization will train me better and I will learn faster bcause I'm already used to the system of the hospital. I will be glad if my request vis considered.

Yours faithfully,

Ozioma Esther.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response covers all bullet points of the task well. The writer successfully explains what has been learned in the present job in the dialysis unit, such as attention to detail and effective communication. Furthermore, the candidate suggests how the company would benefit by stating that transferring to the ICU will improve emergency response skills and ultimately enhance patient care. Finally, the letter clearly explains why the writer prefers to stay within the same organisation, noting familiarity with the hospital system and greater trust in internal training compared to an external part-time program. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. Ideas are relevant and fully developed, meeting the criteria for a solid score in this category.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter is organised into clear paragraphs that separate the different points required by the task prompt. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the text, such as 'Now I want to work', 'Having learnt all these skills', and 'Hence my reason'. However, the logical progression is occasionally hindered by abrupt transitions between sentences and minor mechanical errors in linking ideas. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to structure the letter logically. Overall, the arrangement of ideas is coherent and easy to follow, supporting a clear and professional progression of the writer's request.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for a workplace request, including terms like 'career development', 'effective communication', and 'ongoing success'. However, there are notable spelling errors such as 'writting' instead of 'writing', 'intencive' instead of 'intensive', and 'bcause' instead of 'because'. There are also minor lexical slips, such as 'vis considered' instead of 'is considered'. While the vocabulary attempts to convey less common items like 'triage system', these spelling mistakes and slight inaccuracies in word choice demonstrate a Band 6 level of lexical resource where errors do not severely impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as participial phrases like 'Having learnt all these skills in dialysis unit'. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, including punctuation and capitalization issues (e.g., 'me and i must say,I have learnt', 'I feel I'm not yet good', 'ICU department' instead of 'the ICU department'). Articles are occasionally omitted, and run-on sentences appear, such as 'I applied for a part-time training in other hospital but on a second thought.' Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear, and the grammar is typical of a competent user operating at a Band 6 level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.