Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Madam,

I am writing to request you to change my department in this same organization because I want to do something different for my career.

My name is Ramandeep Kaur having worker ID [redacted phone]. I am working in you department as a General clerk. I am working here from last 2 years but, now I want to move from this to another department. As I learned many skills here such as maintainence, team work, communication skills.

I have some recommendations that will be beneficial for the company If I move to another department like espacially in cashier. I have good problem-solving, decision-making qualities that would be significant in retail business. Moreover, It could help to increase sales and worth for the store.

Another thing that I would like to work maily in this company due to some reasons like health benefits, employee discounts, vacation pay and many more. Also, I have experience about different departments. So, I only want to move another department not organization.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Ramandeep Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The candidate addresses all bullet points required by the task prompt. She mentions what she has learned in her current job, stating 'As I learned many skills here such as maintainence, team work, communication skills.' She suggests how the company would benefit by moving her to another department, particularly as a cashier, noting that her problem-solving and decision-making qualities 'would be significant in retail business' and could 'increase sales and worth for the store.' Finally, she explains why she does not wish to leave the company by mentioning 'health benefits, employee discounts, vacation pay and many more.' While the tone is appropriate for a formal letter and all parts are covered, some ideas lack full development and contain minor omissions in expansion. Therefore, this satisfies the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is organized into clear paragraphs, starting with an appropriate salutation and ending with a standard sign-off. Logical connection between sentences is generally present, although some cohesive devices are mechanical or faulty. For instance, the transition 'Another thing that I would like to work maily in this company due to some reasons...' is awkward and disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is attempted, but paragraph breaks are somewhat abrupt and ideas could be grouped more cohesively. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as shifting between different thoughts without smooth linking phrases. Overall, the arrangement provides a coherent structure suitable for a Band 6 score.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating personal experiences and career goals. However, there are notable spelling and word-choice errors that detract from the overall quality, such as 'maintainence' (maintenance), 'espacially' (especially), and 'maily' (mainly). While the candidate attempts some less common lexical items related to the workplace, such as 'problem-solving' and 'decision-making', the presence of spelling inaccuracies and awkward collocations like 'increase... worth for the store' points firmly toward a Band 5.5 performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar. Examples of complex structures include 'I am writing to request you to change my department...' and '...that will be beneficial for the company If I move to another department'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation lapses, such as 'I am working in you department' (your), 'I am working here from last 2 years' (for the last 2 years), and sentence fragments like 'My name is Ramandeep Kaur having worker ID...' These errors do not completely impede communication, but they occur with enough frequency to cap the score at Band 5.5.

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