Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Donna,

I have been working in this company from past two years. And now i have learned lot off skills from my current position of cashier. So i would like to discuss with you about my promotion to different department which i think is really important for my career development.

Two years ago when i joined this post as a cashier i was freshly graduated from my college with no experience. At that time i only had my education knowledge but when i start working here I learned lot of practical skills like operation oas system making record of every transation and team work and so on.

Now I think I am capeble of working in a different department. As you can see that i had learned a lot in this company and i study is also related to marketing and hr. which i think is really benefical for comapny as i have knowldge of marketing I can contribute a lot in bussinesss sucsess. Therefore i request you to promote me to different department of the company.

As i said it is my first job after graduating that`s why it is really important for me as i learned everyskill from this comapny. So i don`t wanna leave this comapny to get higher postion at other company because i now every thing about this organization.

I hope you will consider my request. I would be really thankfull to you.

your faithfully

Gurveen Kaur.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The candidate has successfully addressed all three bullet points required in the task prompt. You clearly stated what you learned in your present job as a cashier, such as operating the OAS system and keeping records. You suggested how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department by highlighting your educational background in marketing and HR and your potential to contribute to business success. Furthermore, you effectively explained why you do not wish to leave the company, emphasizing loyalty and accumulated organizational knowledge. The tone is appropriate for a semi-formal workplace letter, and the purpose is clear from the outset. Ideas are adequately extended, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.5 or 7.0 range, though minor developments in specific business impacts could be fuller.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter exhibits a coherent overall arrangement, with paragraphs logically corresponding to different aspects of the prompt. You use some basic cohesive devices and transition markers such as 'Therefore', 'At that time', and 'Now I think'. However, paragraphing is somewhat irregular, and referencing is occasionally faulty or mechanical, such as repetitive sentence openings ('I have been...', 'Two years ago...', 'Now I think...'). Additionally, punctuation is sometimes neglected, which occasionally strains the flow between sentences. Cohesion can be improved by employing a wider variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between your reflections on the past and your future goals.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying the intended message regarding your career development and department transfer. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors that detract from the overall quality, such as 'past two years' instead of 'the past two years', 'lot off skills', 'transation', 'capeble', 'benefical', 'comapny', 'knowldge', 'bussinesss', and 'everyskill'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they reflect a limited control over spelling and word formation, placing this response firmly in the Band 5.5 to 6.0 territory. Incorporating less common lexical items accurately and checking spelling will greatly enhance your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like conditional and causal clauses ('As you can see that i had learned a lot...'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses, articles, and prepositions ('when i start working', 'i had learned', 'i study is also related', 'that`s why'). Punctuation is also problematic, marked by missing capitalizations for 'I', missing apostrophes in contractions, and run-on sentences connected without proper punctuation. While communication is not severely blocked, the density of grammatical inaccuracies prevents the response from achieving a higher band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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