Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mark,

I hope you are well and that your current project deadlines are going smoothly. I am writing to formally express my strong interest in transferring from the Finance to the Sales department, as I believe this would be a significant step towards my career development.

Since joining the company, I have developed key core skills, including communication, accounting and financial record management. Additionally, in my current role, I have closely monitored budgeting for various internal teams and authored internal memos and private company blogs.

According to myself after moving to the Sales department, the company can focus on many root causes such as decreased sales revenue versus keeping profit margin upto 30 percent. Those are the most beneficial avenues where company should invest more to increase market share values. Moreover, I already solved a problem of not having enough resources for sales skills by training them well into an internal incubation program.

The company has given me not only perks but an amazing learning environment which I could not get at any other companies. Nevertheless, I see fully devoted to the loyalty of the organizational hierarchy people for the trust they've put in myself.

I have already raised a request for changing a department and I hope you will carefully review it. I am looking forward to know your thoughts on this matter.

Yours faithfully,

Viral Siddhapura

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response covers all parts of the prompt well. You successfully state what you have learned in your present job, such as developing core skills like communication, accounting, and financial record management. You also suggest how the company would benefit from the move by mentioning sales revenue and training through an internal incubation program, and you explain why you do not wish to leave the company by praising the learning environment and company culture. However, some of the ideas regarding the business benefits, such as 'keeping profit margin upto 30 percent' and 'market share values', are slightly vague and under-developed, placing your performance comfortably at Band 6.5 to 7.0. Overall, the purpose of the letter is clearly communicated throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your letter is coherent with a clear overall arrangement and logical progression. You use appropriate paragraphing to separate different points, such as an introductory paragraph, skills learned, company benefits, loyalty to the firm, and a concluding remark. Cohesive devices are generally used appropriately, for example, 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Nevertheless'. However, referencing and cohesion occasionally feel slightly mechanical, such as the awkward transition in 'According to myself after moving to the Sales department', which affects the smooth flow of ideas. Paragraphing is used sufficiently, but minor logical leaps in the body paragraphs prevent a higher score.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'formally express', 'financial record management', and 'incubation program'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors that detract from precision, such as 'According to myself', which should be 'In my opinion' or 'I believe', and 'loyalty of the organizational hierarchy people', which is unnatural phrasing. Spelling is generally accurate, and your lexical errors do not impede communication, allowing you to secure a solid Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You display a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and introductory prepositional phrases effectively, such as 'Since joining the company, I have developed key core skills...'. There are some grammatical errors and awkward structures, such as 'kept profit margin upto' (spelling/preposition issues), 'the company should invest more to increase market share values', and 'I am looking forward to know your thoughts', which should be 'looking forward to knowing'. Despite these errors, they rarely impede overall communication, placing your grammatical control firmly at Band 6.0.

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