Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I hope all is well.

My name is Shivam, and currently I am working as an operational manager in the company.

I am writing this email to show my interest to switch between the departments, as I have been working in the company for the last two years in the same department.

Initially, I got hired as a security guard in the company, then I got promoted as the operational manager in the company to oversee and handle all the operational related tasks. However, my ultimate goal to work as an accountant in the company from the begining.

There are plenty of things that I have learnt while working at my current position naming it from scheduling to deploying the security guards at sites, to communicate with clients, and few. Therefore, I would like to put forward my application to get being hired as an accountant, since I know our current accountant is leaving the job in next few weeks.

I have been with the company, and I have my academic background in the same field. Also

I know our current client very well, so I feel company would get more benefited if I will get hired.

I do not have any plans to leave the company in near future, as I have my loyalty with the company.

I hope this letter will

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The candidate addresses all parts of the prompt, though some bullet points are handled with varying degrees of development. You successfully mention what you have learned in your present job, such as 'scheduling to deploying the security guards at sites', and explain why you do not wish to leave the company ('loyalty with the company' and knowing current clients). Furthermore, you suggest how the company would benefit from moving you, noting your academic background and familiarity with clients. However, the letter ends abruptly mid-sentence ('I hope this letter will'), which leaves the conclusion unfinished and slightly impacts overall task completion. Despite this minor flaw, the purpose of the letter is clear, and the tone is appropriate for a formal workplace request, aligning well with a Band 6.0 performance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical progression, starting with an introduction, explaining your background, stating your current goals, and providing reasons for the department switch. Paragraphing is used to separate ideas, although paragraphs tend to be a bit choppy and short. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Initially', 'However', and 'Also', but referencing and linking can occasionally feel mechanical or repetitive ('in the company' is repeated multiple times). The most significant issue affecting cohesion is the incomplete ending, which disrupts the flow of the final paragraph. Overall, the organization is coherent and easy to follow, fitting comfortably into the Band 6 descriptor.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common lexical items such as 'promoted', 'operational manager', and 'academic background'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'switch between the departments' instead of 'transfer to a different department', 'operational related tasks' instead of 'operations-related tasks', and 'from the begining' (spelling error). The repetition of phrases like 'in the company' also limits the lexical range. While meaning is generally clear, the vocabulary control leans towards Band 5.5 to 6.0, justifying a Band 6.0 score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as using 'as I have been working...' and 'since I know our current accountant is leaving...'. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the text. Examples include 'currently I am working' (word order), 'to show my interest to switch' (inappropriate preposition use), 'then I got promoted as the operational manager' (preposition error, should be 'to'), and 'company would get more benefited if I will get hired' (incorrect conditional tense). Punctuation is generally acceptable, though the unfinished ending is problematic. These frequent minor errors place the grammar firmly in the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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