Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

DEAR MANAGER,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter, to ask you about, is there any new openings, that our company might have posted? I have been working with this company from last two years in the same position as a cash support associate. I have learnt quiet a few things while working. One of them is communication skills as well as how to handle the big amount of cash.

As I have already spent my 2 years in the same position, now I was thinking for a change. I was thinking to switch my department to fashion lead, that will give me an excitement and challenges to learn new things. My communication skills will help me to bring more customers and also, I am a great team player, so I can easily manage my associates to have a good sell.

The other reason to switch the department and not to switch company is that this is a very reputated and organized company with a friendly environment, which I don't want to leave.

Therefore, if there are any opportunities that come across you, I would love to apply for that. Looking forward from hearing back from you.

Thank you.

Best regards,

Priyanka

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all the bullet points outlined in the prompt, making the purpose of the letter clear. You clearly state what you have learned in your present job, such as communication skills and cash handling. You also suggest how the company would benefit, mentioning that your communication skills will help attract customers and that you are a good team player. Additionally, you explain why you do not wish to leave the company by praising its friendly and organized environment. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed; for instance, the explanation of how moving departments benefits the company could be expanded with more specific details. To reach a higher level, you should ensure all ideas are fully elaborated with deeper explanations and stronger supporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter maintains a generally coherent overall arrangement with a logical flow from stating the purpose of the letter to discussing your experience, your desire to switch departments, and your loyalty to the company. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different topics, and basic cohesive devices such as 'As I have already spent' and 'Therefore' are employed to connect ideas. However, the organization can occasionally feel a bit mechanical, and referencing is not always completely clear, such as the abrupt transition into asking about job openings at the very beginning. To improve cohesion further, you should aim for smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs and use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task and allows you to communicate your message effectively. You attempt some less common vocabulary items, such as 'reputated' and 'cash support associate', but there are noticeable errors in word choice and word formation, such as using 'reputated' instead of 'reputable' and writing 'quiet a few' instead of 'quite a few'. Other phrasing, like 'big amount of cash', is somewhat informal. To achieve a higher band in lexical resource, you need to use a wider range of precise vocabulary with greater awareness of collocation and style, while minimizing errors in word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'As I have already spent my 2 years in the same position, now I was thinking for a change.' While many of your sentences communicate meaning successfully, there are persistent grammatical errors and punctuation issues, including unnecessary commas (e.g., 'writing this letter, to ask you about, is there any new openings') and tense inconsistencies ('now I was thinking'). Errors like 'from last two years' instead of 'for the last two years' also occur. To improve your grammar score, focus on eliminating basic errors, improving preposition usage, and enhancing your control over complex sentence patterns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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