Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to express my thought for moving to grocery department as a team lead for my career development. As i am already working in a bakery department as a department manager since two year i joined the company.

In my current position i leared time management which helps me to stay on top for the bakery orders. Doing so our selves are always full with various kinds of breads for customer purchase. Moreover, i am good at maintaining the whole department alone and scheduling the staff appropriately. I gained good knowledge in on boarding and employee training for newly hires.

The company would get great benefit if i switch to grocery department. I like doing micro management which would help to organise the food in covenient location as well as checking the inventory for the goods. Lastely, i will schedule each working precisly that over work wont get delayed in busy time of the year.

I would like to stay in the same company as it provides better opportunities to grow and develop. It also provides great benefits for dental and eye care which i am using it for my care. Other than that working culture really motivates me to work hard for the organization which never makes be bored.

I would really appreciate if you approve my request for department change.

Yours faithfully,

AP

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, successfully covering what has been learned in the present job, suggesting how the company would benefit from the move, and explaining the reasons for staying. The purpose of the letter is clear throughout. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the first bullet point about learning time management is explained adequately, but the explanation regarding how the company will benefit in the third paragraph is slightly limited and relies on basic assertions. To reach a higher level, all bullet points would need deeper extension, more specific workplace examples, and more fully fleshed-out reasoning regarding the company's prospective benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph-by-paragraph structure that follows the standard conventions of a workplace request letter. Ideas are grouped logically, addressing each bullet point in turn from current role to company benefits to retention. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in 'Doing so our selves are always full' or the abrupt transition to the final points. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate the different sections of the letter, but achieving a higher band would require smoother transitions between sentences and more flexible use of cohesive devices to guide the reader seamlessly through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating the main message, and the writer makes noticeable attempts at less common vocabulary such as 'career development', 'scheduling', and 'inventory'. Nevertheless, there are frequent errors in word choice, collocation, word form, and spelling that reflect a limited resource. Examples include 'thought' instead of 'thought/request', 'leared' instead of 'learned', 'newly hires' instead of 'new hires', 'micro management' used incorrectly for close supervision, 'covenient' instead of 'convenient', and 'Lastely' instead of 'Lastly'. These errors do not entirely impede communication, but they restrict the response to this level. To improve, the writer should focus on accurate word forms, correct spelling, and natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over basic sentence patterns. However, there are frequent grammatical errors involving verb tenses, prepositions, articles, and plurals. Examples include 'since two year i joined' instead of 'for two years since I joined', 'our selves are always full' instead of 'our shelves are always well-stocked', 'checking the inventory for the goods', 'each working precisly' instead of 'each shift precisely', and 'which i am using it for my care'. Punctuation and capitalization errors, such as lowercase 'i', also occur. While these errors rarely impede communication entirely, the presence of frequent grammatical inaccuracies prevents the response from achieving a higher band, where error-free sentences would be more dominant.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.