Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear smith,

I am writing this letter you regarding your company which help me a lot to become able to get jot in different department.

To be honest, i have learnt many skills while doing job.It teach me team work , decision making skills , financial management skills, and how to cooperate with others. These skill help me lot to become able to handle any situation.

Due to your company experience, now i have became able to join other department. I have job letter of your campany which have showed in other department.Luckly, i get job immide

I have strong bond with all staff member. Whole team of campany like a family member for me . Therefore, It will hard for me to leave the company. Moreover, i am familiar with all work in the company. Thus, it make me uncomforable to move on other place

I miss whole team member lot

kind regards

kirandeep kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally. While all parts of the prompt are touched upon, such as mentioning skills learned in the present job, suggesting company benefits, and expressing why you do not wish to leave, the ideas are presented in a very limited and tangential manner. For instance, the explanation of what you learned lists basic skills like "team work" and "financial management skills," but these points are underdeveloped and lack context or explanation. Furthermore, the reason for wanting to move and how the company benefits is obscured by confusing phrasing, such as "I have job letter of your campany which have showed in other department," which makes the overall purpose hard to follow clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently throughout the letter. The structure suffers from a lack of logical progression, and paragraphing is irregular, with single-sentence paragraphs appearing frequently, such as "I miss whole team member lot." Cohesive devices are either missing or inaccurate, and referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader confused about the connections between sentences. For example, moving from discussing job applications to having a strong bond with staff members lacks a smooth transitional flow. To improve, the letter needs clear paragraph divisions dedicated to single topics, supported by appropriate transition words to guide the reader logically from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent errors that strain the reader's comprehension. Words are often misspelled or misused in terms of word form and collocation, such as "jot" instead of job, "campany" instead of company, and "immide" instead of immediately. There is little attempt to use less common lexical items effectively. Phrases like "strong bond" and "family member" show some attempt to convey personal feelings, but inaccurate word choices like "uncomforable to move on other place" heavily impede the natural flow of the writing and reflect a very limited vocabulary range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and errors are frequent, often distorting the intended meaning. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at more complex structures result in heavy errors in verb forms, tense consistency, and prepositions. Examples include "I am writing this letter you regarding your company which help me a lot," "i have became able," and "it make me uncomforable." Punctuation and capitalization rules are also frequently ignored, as seen with lowercase letters at the start of sentences and misused commas. To progress, you need to focus on foundational sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and consistent past and present tense control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.