Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Robin,

I am writing this letter to request you an opportunity to transfer into different department within company, as I belivev this would be an important step in my professional development.

I have been working in my current position for past two years, during which time I have gained valuable experience in dealing with customers, working as part of team, managing responsibilities efficently, and solving problems under pressure. I have also developed strong communication and organisitional skills.

Moving into different department will allow me use my knowledge and experience into new role .This will not only benefit me but company to as being an employee who already understand procedures, work culuture and values of the company which reduces the need for extensive training.

I would like to emphasises that I have no intention to leave company as I love to working here and greatly appericate love and support which I have recevied. I would like to explore new challenges and contine growing professionally within the oraganisition.

I would be grateful if you could consider my reuqest and discuss avaliable oppotunities with me.

Yours sincerely,

Ramanpal Kaur Brar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You successfully addressed all parts of the task by clearly stating what you have learned in your present job, suggesting how the company would benefit from your move, and explaining why you wish to stay within the organisation. Your position is clear throughout the letter, and your ideas are well-supported with relevant details, such as mentioning specific skills gained over the past two years like customer handling and problem-solving. To move to a higher level, you could further extend and nuance your ideas by providing more specific examples of projects or contributions from your current role, ensuring that every bullet point is developed with maximum depth and precision.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

Your letter demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. You effectively divide your ideas into distinct paragraphs, starting with a polite opening and your main purpose, moving through your experience, the company's benefits, your loyalty, and ending with a professional sign-off. You use cohesive devices reasonably well, such as transitional phrases like 'During which time' and 'This will not only benefit me but company too'. However, cohesion can occasionally feel slightly mechanical. To achieve a more advanced level, you could employ a wider and more flexible range of referencing and substitution, ensuring that transitions between paragraphs flow even more naturally and unobtrusively.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'professional development', 'valuable experience', and 'extensive training'. However, your writing contains several noticeable spelling and word-form errors, such as 'belivev', 'efficently', 'organisitional', 'culuture', 'emphasises', 'appericate', 'recevied', 'contine', 'oraganisition', and 'reuqest'. Additionally, some collocations and prepositions within lexical chunks are slightly off, such as 'request you an opportunity to transfer into different department'. To reach a higher standard, you need to improve your spelling accuracy and expand your repertoire of precise, sophisticated vocabulary with correct collocations and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You make use of a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over structures such as relative clauses and conditional-style reasoning, for example, 'as being an employee who already understand procedures... which reduces the need for extensive training.' You show good control of punctuation for the most part. However, there are some grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('into different department', 'company to as being an employee', 'leave company'), subject-verb agreement issues ('who already understand'), and incorrect prepositions or verb complements ('I love to working here'). These errors do not impede communication, but they prevent you from achieving a higher band. To improve, focus on article usage, subject-verb agreement, and ensuring your complex sentence structures are entirely error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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