Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter regarding the transfer that i want to move in different department.As i am working in at food counter for last 2 years. In food area i have improved skills like customer service,confidence,active listening.Along with this i get to know about body language, which help me to make customer comfortable.

I am the best employee of this year, so if you will shift me to other department such as at main counter of the store, there i can show my skills that i learned as a food counter attendent. Also i can take care of more customer in less time because in food area i had to work in busy hours, which taught me to work fast.

In this organization the work environment and all staff is good and also this company know my value. In this industry i can do more personal improvement, which also help me in my personal life.

Sincerely,

Garry

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all three parts of the prompt, satisfying the basic requirements of the task. You successfully mention what you have learned in your present job, such as customer service and body language, and you explain why you do not wish to leave the company by praising the work environment and support. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. The suggestion of how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department remains somewhat general, relying on your claim of being the best employee rather than detailing specific operational advantages. To reach a higher level, you should extend and fully develop all your main points with more specific details and clearer justifications throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter maintains a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure appropriate for a formal request. You use paragraphing adequately to separate your introduction, body points, and conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or abrupt, and referencing is not always completely clear, such as the sudden transition into discussing your award as the best employee. Additionally, some cohesive devices feel basic or repetitive. To achieve a higher score, you should ensure smoother transitions between ideas and make more precise use of referencing words to connect your thoughts naturally across sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating your message with a sufficient range of everyday terms. You attempt some less common vocabulary, such as 'organization', 'environment', and 'attendent', but these attempts are accompanied by some word-choice and word-form errors, like 'attendent' instead of 'attendant'. There are also occasional spelling and collocation slips, though these do not impede communication. To improve this score, you need to use a wider and more precise range of vocabulary, demonstrating better control over less common lexical items, collocations, and accurate word spelling and formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating that you can construct various types of clauses. However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing articles ('in different department'), incorrect prepositions ('working in at food counter'), and awkward clause structures ('regarding the transfer that i want to move in different department'). Although these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede overall communication. To move up to a higher band, you need to produce a higher frequency of error-free sentences, maintain tighter control over prepositions and articles, and refine your complex grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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