Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. John,

It has been almost two years since I started working at Pearl Dental Care. Now I feel it is essential to move to another department within the clinic to improve my career prospects. I am writing to request that you consider my transfer appeal.

First and foremost, I am glad to have gained a lot of experience in the diagnostic department, where I learned to take patients' detailed histories, make documentation, and finally write the diagnoses. By moving to the endodontics department, I will not only help with basic dental procedures, but also deal with patient's queries using my prior experties. Additionally, there is a shortage of staff in endo department, which makes another reason for me to join it.

That being said, I do not want to leave this clinic because it has better facilities for its employees than anywhere else such as a good work-life balance and paid holidays. PDC is a progressive workplace, which is an ideal environment for a general dentist like me to flourish in.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Mark

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt, fulfilling the general training letter requirements. You effectively explain what you have learned in your present job, such as taking patient histories and writing diagnoses in the diagnostic department. You also suggest company benefits through department movement, noting that you can help with basic procedures and handle queries using prior expertise, and you explain your reasons for staying by highlighting workplace facilities and work-life balance. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed; for instance, the explanation of how moving to the endodontics department specifically benefits the wider company could be expanded further with more specific details to reach a higher level of thoroughness.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter maintains a clear overall arrangement and logical progression throughout. Information is suitably divided into paragraphs, starting with an appropriate greeting and purpose of writing, moving on to experience and reasons for the transfer, and concluding with a polite sign-off. Cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Additionally', and 'That being said' are used to connect ideas, although referencing and cohesion occasionally feel a bit mechanical. To achieve a more seamless flow, you could integrate sentences with subtler transitions rather than relying on standard sequential connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

Your vocabulary choice demonstrates an adequate range for the task, successfully communicating your message about career progression and dental procedures. You attempt some less common vocabulary items such as 'career prospects', 'diagnostic department', and 'progressive workplace'. However, there are minor lexical inaccuracies, such as the spelling error 'experties' instead of 'expertise' and the slight awkwardness of 'makes another reason' instead of 'provides another reason'. These errors do not impede communication, but eliminating them and using more sophisticated collocations will elevate your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a decent grasp of sentence structures. You correctly employ subordinate clauses such as 'where I learned to take patients' detailed histories' and 'because it has better facilities'. There are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'make documentation' (which should ideally be 'complete documentation' or 'prepare documentation') and the missing article in 'in endo department'. Nevertheless, grammar and punctuation are generally well controlled, and errors are infrequent enough that they rarely impede communication.

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