Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to ask if you could transfer me to a different department as I have been serving in Data management sector for almost two years now.

During this tenure, I have been able to plan, record and communicate efficiently regarding the data collection of the company which helped to

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.5

The most significant issue with this response is that the length requirement is severely unmet, containing only fifty-nine words compared to the minimum of one hundred and fifty words. Because of this extremely limited length, the task is addressed only minimally. You successfully mention that you have been in your present job for two years and hint at your duties in the data management sector, but you fail to cover the other required bullet points, such as suggesting company benefits or explaining why you wish to remain in the company. To achieve a higher band, you must fully develop all parts of the prompt and write at least the minimum required word count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text shows some basic organisation with an appropriate formal salutation and a clear opening statement introducing the purpose of the letter. However, because the response cuts off abruptly mid-sentence, there is no overall progression or conclusion. Paragraphing is not properly established due to the extreme brevity of the text. To improve in this area, you need to structure your ideas into distinct paragraphs, ensuring each bullet point from the prompt is clearly separated and linked logically using appropriate cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use an adequate vocabulary for the brief amount you have written, attempting some relevant professional phrases such as 'Data management sector' and 'data collection'. However, the range is far too limited to satisfy higher bands, and the abrupt end prevents the display of a wider lexical selection. To improve your lexical score, you should incorporate a broader range of less common vocabulary and precise functional phrases suited for a formal workplace request, ensuring accurate word choice and spelling throughout.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammar used in the opening sentences demonstrates an attempt at complex structures, such as the dependent clauses in 'I am writing to ask if you could transfer me...' and 'During this tenure, I have been able to...'. These initial structures are formed with reasonable accuracy, but the overall range is very limited because the text is incomplete. To reach higher bands, you must produce a sustained mix of simple and complex sentence forms with a high proportion of error-free sentences across a fully developed letter.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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